Monday 30 November 2009

Dont Want Divorce Dont Consider It

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No one goes into their marriage wanting to fail. Many couples dont want divorce because they believe that it equals failure. New facts and figures now state that if divorce is not considered when problems arise in a marriage that couples can resolve their issues and have a stronger marriage.

If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.

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When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.

By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.

The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.

However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.

Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.

If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work. It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Sunday 29 November 2009

Can Marriage Counseling Save A Marriage In Crisis

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Every marriage goes through ups and downs. A number of marriages also go through times of severe turmoil, such as deaths in the family, chronic illnesses, unfaithfulness, or national disasters. Some marriages hold strong during any ups and downs; others begin to crumble. For any marriage in crisis, however, marital counseling can help.

Each couple’s marriage is, of course, unique. Therefore, the way in which that couple deals with problems and issues will be unique. However, there are several signs which are common to all marriages--signs which point toward trouble brewing in the relationship. The earlier a couple begins to recognize the signs, the earlier the couple can begin marriage counseling. And, the sooner the couple starts counseling, the better the couple’s chances of saving their marriage.

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Here are the common warning signs of a marriage that is likely headed toward crisis:

• The couple bickers, nags, and nitpicks a great deal.

• The couple doesn’t fight fairly.

• The couple tends to spend a good deal of time apart, doing activities separately because that is more fun than spending time together.

• The couple doesn’t talk about problems together. One member of the couple may be unaware of household issues or problems with the children that the other couple member handles, for instance.

• The couple no longer agrees on long-term goals and values, either for themselves or for the family as a whole.

• The couple has a low level of intimacy--or none.

• The couple doesn’t talk much. The two members of the couple may be unaware of significant events or happenings at each other’s workplaces, for example.

Marriage counseling can help couples who are having any of the above issues. Counseling can also assist couples who are in crisis for other reasons. There is no reason for a couple to stay in an unhappy marriage; yet people who head straight for separation or divorce without trying to first make the marriage work through the use of marital counseling may be throwing in the towel without giving their marriage a fair chance.

Professional marriage counselors have experience in working with couples who have gone through all types of difficulties. Counselors can assist couples in dealing with infidelity, spending issues, problems with family and children, differences in faith, and much more.

Couples who attend marriage counseling learn the following:

• How to resolve conflict through effective listening
• How to state needs clearly and openly without anger or resentment
• How to get what is needed in the relationship without making demands
• How to work through unresolved issues in the marriage
• How to understand the needs of both members of the couple--and how to meet those needs

Marriage counseling works best if couples go as soon as they begin having problems in their marriage. A marriage in crisis can be helped with marital counseling; however, if a couple waits too long to seek counseling, their chances of saving their marriage may not be as great.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Saturday 28 November 2009

She Broke My Heart

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It is a normal part of life to experience both joy and sorrow. Everyone in the entire world experiences both at times. This is likely of little consolation to you if you are currently feeling the heartbreak of an ended relationship, however. It is quite difficult to make the transition from dreaming of spending your life with someone forever to knowing that your dream was not meant to be. If she broke your heart, you may be feeling as if your life is falling apart.

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Feeling broken-hearted can seem rather confusing to some--there is a lot of pain and hurt feelings, of course, but there is also a sense of grief and loss that is not unlike that which is experienced when a death occurs. This happens because when your heart is broken, you feel as if you have lost a large part of your life as well as a part of yourself; therefore, it is only natural to grieve for the loss.

The depth of your feelings from your heartbreak will depend upon the depth of your relationship and the strength of the feelings you had for your girlfriend at the time of the break-up. For the first few weeks after the break-up, you may feel as if your heart has fallen out and will never return. You may also feel as if the heartbreak will never end. All of this is perfectly natural, both for men and for women who experience heartbreak.

It may take several weeks or a few months for you to begin to feel a bit more normal--and even then, you may relapse into the depths of despair once again. It may be difficult for those around you to truly understand how you are feeling and how deeply you are hurting because every broken heart is different. When a woman breaks your heart, it may leave deep scars on your heart that remain there forever.

You may feel physical and psychological symptoms of your broken heart throughout your recovery period. It is not unusual to experience some of the following symptoms:

• Stomach aches or loss of appetite
• Difficulty sleeping
• Loss of self-respect or self-esteem
• Nausea
• Extreme fatigue
• Tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
• Feelings of hopelessness

Most of these symptoms tend to be mild and of short duration; however, anyone experiencing long-term or more severe suffering should certainly visit a doctor.

Even though she broke your heart, you will recover and you will even learn to love again. It may not seem possible now because you are grieving your loss and need to come to terms with how your life will be without your ex; however, trust that as time marches on, you will heal. Just as your body heals from physical injuries, your mind and soul will heal from psychological suffering. As each day passes by, your hurt will ease, little by little. Soon your heartbreak will be a memory of the past.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Friday 27 November 2009

7 Effective Tips To Help Save Marriage

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Statistically speaking, nearly sixty percent of marriages fail. Many couples are looking into ways to avoid becoming that statistic. Although some marriages cannot be fixed, many can. It takes dedication and determination on the part of both the husband and the wife to help save their marriage, regardless of what the underlying problems are or who is at fault.

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The following are some effective tips to help save marriage. However, for these to work, both the husband and wife must be committed to following these guidelines and work together to solve their differences.

1. Communicate. This is absolutely essential for making a marriage work and last. You both must clearly state how you feel, your opinions, your wants and needs to each other. By discovering what each of you feel is wrong in your marriage, you can work towards a solution.

2. Keep calm. When you are having problems in your marriage it is easy to get upset. Try to approach your problems with a level head and voice. Being hurtful or disrespectful to your spouse will not help the situation.

3. Compromise. It takes two in a marriage, so both of your views must be respected. If you give a little, you may get a lot and be happier.

4. Set goals. Goals give you direction. Make sure to set goals in your marriage that reflect both of your views and determine what you both need to do to get there.

5. Be patient. It takes time to work on problems in a marriage. Make sure that you are patient with your spouse as well as with yourself as you work towards fixing problems. Rushing to fix things can have an adverse effect.

6. Forgive and forget. Depending on your situation, this can be difficult, especially if your partner was unfaithful. If you want to save your marriage in spite of their infidelity, you will have to try and forgive them so that you can work together to preserve your marriage. Forgetting about what they have done may not be easy either. If you want to move on, it is essential that you are not dwelling on the past. Focus on the here and now and what you can both can do today to make your marriage better.

7. Get counseling. If you cannot work out your differences, counseling can help. A good counselor can help you with guidance, support, encouragement and give you unbiased views that can give you insight on how to correct the problems in your marriage. They can help you find the right solutions and methods based on what is best for you as a couple for the problems that are being faced.

It is very important that you both agree to counseling and intend to take an active role in your sessions for counseling to be an effective tool for help in your marriage. When choosing a counselor, make sure that they are licensed professionals and that you feel comfortable working with them.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Thursday 26 November 2009

Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

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Are you considering getting back together with your ex boyfriend? The idea probably seems quite exciting, especially if both of you are remembering all of the good times that you had together. But you should definitely do some serious thinking before you and your boyfriend decide to get back together.

Many couples do successfully reunite and end up with very strong relationships after a break-up. However, some couples end up getting back together for the wrong reasons or without fully dealing with the factors that led to the dissolution of the relationship. If you want your rejuvenated relationship to be a success, make sure that you first take the time to consider the following issues:

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• Old wounds need to be healed.

In other words, there was some reason why you and your boyfriend broke up in the first place; has this issue been resolved? If not, it is likely that your relationship may fail again. You and your boyfriend must find a way to either deal with the problems that led to the break-up or you must jointly decide that the break-up issues are no longer conflicts. It isn’t enough to simply have regrets about the relationship and how it ended; things must change.

• Let go of old expectations.

If you and your boyfriend decide to give the relationship another try, you will need to learn to treat it as a new relationship--not as an extension of your old one. This doesn’t mean that you need to completely start fresh; however, you do need to rebuild trust and friendship. You will need to reassess your goals as a couple and work on creating a new life together.

• Don’t let emotions make decisions about reuniting or about the new relationship.

Of course it can feel quite thrilling to talk again with your ex, and you both may be feeling the euphoria of falling for each other once again. Yet allowing those feelings to control whether you and your boyfriend get back together could be a mistake. You both need to think rationally about how a new relationship would be--without letting the floods of emotion overcome you. Similarly, when making decisions about the new relationship, it is best to do so calmly and with sensible and reasonable thought. If either of you allow emotions to cloud your judgment, you may come to regret it later on.

If you really want to get back together with your boyfriend, make sure that you and he are both really ready for another try at the relationship. By doing so, you could end up saving yourself a great deal of heartache if, for some reason, the relationship does not fare well again.

It may seem quite easy to believe that your boyfriend has changed because of your great desire to reignite the relationship; however, if it isn’t actually true you will just be setting yourself up for failure. Instead, set yourself up for success by being honest with your boyfriend and making sure that the two of you do not follow the same path that led to your first break-up.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back

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Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake. It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back. These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.

If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips. Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly. If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.

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Try these tips as you work toward getting your exgirlfriend back:

• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship. Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.

• Be kind whenever you see her. Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment. This will show her that you still care about her.

• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you. Let her express herself and do not interrupt. Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.

• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up. Work on changing these habits. For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested. Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.

Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back. Avoid doing any of these:

• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex. This is not attractive at all.

• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.

• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back. This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship. And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.

By following these tips, you should be able to work towards getting your exgirlfriend back. Good luck!

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Tuesday 24 November 2009

Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage

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If your relationship between the two of you to the point of questioning how long you will be together, you may be asking how to save my marriage. Remember that a marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. These problems cannot be solved by just one of you.

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Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

- No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.

- Marriage requires work. For your relationship to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.

- Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.

- Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.

- Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Monday 23 November 2009

Saving A Relationship 3 Tips For Doing So

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Whether you've recently broken up, or you're afraid you're on the brink of a breakup you can take heart, saving a relationship is possible. You can reignite the flame that the two of you once shared. It won't necessarily be easy or fast, but if you're committed to making it work there is hope.

I've compiled a list of some of the things you need to do to salvage and repair your relationship. Keep these tips in mind when you are analyzing your relationship:

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1. Do you really want to stay in the relationship? I know this may sound like a dumb question but sometimes when we think we want to keep our relationship what we really mean is that we're afraid of having to find someone new, or starting over. If you're brutally honest with yourself you can determine if you really want to continue the relationship or if you're just scared of being on your own.

Another part of this question is to determine if your partner really wants to work on the relationship too. Even if you decide that your relationship is worth saving, that doesn't mean your partner shares your conviction or will be willing to invest the time and effort to work on your problems.

2. Honestly evaluate what went wrong in your relationship. Again, this will need to be done by both of you. This can be the hardest part, it's always easier to blame someone else for the problems but it's tougher to own up to your part in the break down of your relationship.

Before you can repair it you need to know not only what is broken but why it broke. The two of you may even want to visit a couples counselor to help you objectively work through this phase. Sometimes having an objective third party in the room can help you both stay calm and face things you may not have been willing or able to face on your own.

3. Try to remember what drew you to each other in the first place. If you've been in a relationship for a while you obviously loved and enjoyed each other. So often in a relationship what happens is that the 'stronger' one (or the most selfish one) controls the relationship. They become the one who tends to take more than they give. The other partner will take on the role of the giver. Over time the 'taker' will get bored because the fun loving person they fell in love with has become a doormat and the 'giver' will get sick of not getting their needs met often enough.

If your relationship has fallen into this trap you both need to take a step back and remember what attracted you to each other. This might be a good time to not only remember but to tell the other person. Remind them why you fell in love with them, and vice a versa.

Saving a relationship will take time, work, and commitment by both parties, but it can be done. If you think your relationship is worth saving and your partner thinks so too, than by all means, follow the tips above and you can salvage your relationship.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Sunday 22 November 2009

Advice On Sex To Repair Your Relationship

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Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do. Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time. If you think the best way to save your relationship is to 'spice up your sex life' you may want to think again. Here is some advice on sex to repair your relationship.

First of all don't buy into the old cliche that if you have great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave. Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone won't be enough to keep your relationship strong. A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you will struggle and most likely won't be happy in the relationship.

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A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that's ok. It's more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it's balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you are in sync you should seriously consider ending the relationship because the two of you just aren't a good fit, and that's unlikely to change.

So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be, consider some of these points:

1. How was your relationship in the beginning? Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together? What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together? If you don't do those things together anymore, why not? If you analyze these changes in your relationship you will be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.

2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship? After all you're both part of the situation, and the problem. Why not share with each other what you are feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner? No one will know what they are thinking better than they do.

Make sure that when you ask your partner what they're thinking you give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel in a 'safe' environment. What I mean by that is don't get mad and yell at them if they say something you don't want to hear. If you do then you are sending them a signal that they can't open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won't turn to you. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

Once they've told you how they feel, it's your turn. And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.

If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you'll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that's simply not the case. Use the advice on sex to repair your relationship tips I've given you above to start to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Saturday 21 November 2009

Healing Relationship Wounds

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If you are facing the difficult task of healing relationship wounds you will need to be wiling to really invest some time and effort. You can fix your relationship but it won't necessarily be quick and easy, and you won't be able to do it all on your own.

There are many steps you will need to take to repair your broken relationship. A lot of what you will have to do will depend on what broke the relationship in the first place. It's usually not just one or two things and it usually takes a long time and a buildup of many smaller issues that eventually tear down your relationship.

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Finding the cause of the break down is the first thing you will need to do in order to come up with a 'game plan' to fix it. You wouldn't expect your mechanic to fix your car without first knowing what was wrong with it, would you? The same principle applies to your relationship.

Not only will you need to figure out what went wrong you will need to honestly figure out what part you played in it. That can be very hard for most people. No one wants to admit they've been wrong or made mistakes. But you can't fix it until you know what is broken, so you will have to honestly, maybe brutally honestly, evaluate the way you've behaved in the relationship and what things you've done, or said, that might have contributed to the break down.

And yes, what you have said can play just a big a role in a broken relationship as what you've done. Never forget that words can wound and those wounds are often the hardest ones to heal.

Once you've figured out the mistakes you've made you will need to determine if you're wiling to invest the time needed to fix them. If you can't make a 100% commitment to changing your behavior than you might as well end the relationship right now. There's no point in dragging you and your partner through further pain.

Another thing you will need to honestly consider is whether or not your partner will be willing to work on the relationship too. No matter how sincere you are and motivated to make changes, it will take both of you working together to get things back to a good place. You can't do it all alone, and neither can your partner. If you aren't both committed to making it work, it's also time to move on.

Something else you will need to consider is that if you save your relationship it will never totally be 'back the way it used to be'. That doesn't mean it can't still be good, it can. It just means that whatever the two of you have gone through has left some scars, those will always be there.

Keep these things in mind when you are healing relationship wounds. If your relationship is truly worth saving, and your partner is willing to meet you half way and work on it, you can fix the relationship and even make it better than it was before, it'll just take some time...and lot's of love.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Friday 20 November 2009

Openness To Healing Relationships

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So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong. But somehow, somewhere, things changed. Now they want to get that loving relationship back. The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships.

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small. These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now they've taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we don't want to be hurt anymore. Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship. Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

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And, it's not just about you either. Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship? Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another. If that's the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what they've said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You can't do it all yourself and you can't force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing you'll both need to do is look at yourselves. You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part you've played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it. Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.

After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other. This doesn't mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad. It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling. You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous. This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout. In order for this to work, it's crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and you're wiling to work on the steps I've listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be 'back to normal'.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Thursday 19 November 2009

Long Distance Relationship Advice

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Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge. It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work. It will also take some sound long distance relationship advice, and that's where I come in.

In this article I've outlined some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive. I've also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship.

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One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page. Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks it's ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.

For the most part, a couple won't even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be a long term one. There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be 'the one'.

Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills. When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you can't have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.

That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around. The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they don't get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

If you are an insecure person, though most people won't admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship. Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isn't one.

If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work. No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities.

You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a 'fling' with someone while away from your partner. Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if that's the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Wednesday 18 November 2009

Healing A Broken Relationship

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Healing a broken relationship isn't hopeless, but it will be a challenge. How much of a challenge will depend on many things.

One of the first things that will factor into how you should go about fixing your relationship is why the relationship is in trouble in the first place. Is your relationship broken because of infidelity? If so, was it you or your partner that cheated? This type of relationship can be fixed but it is the hardest thing to overcome and both partners have to be willing to work very hard to make things right.

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With infidelity it would seem like the partner who cheated would have to do all the work, but that isn't really the case. The truth of the matter is that it will take just as much work for the person who was cheated on to try to overcome their fear of being hurt again, their mistrust of their partner, as well as their anger and desire for revenge.

If your relationship has broken down more gradually over time, this might be a little easier to mend. Of course, it will still take time and work and you both will need to be 100% committed to working on it. Many relationships in this category die like a plant in a garden, from lack of nurturing. It's not usually a big thing that ends it but rather a series of small, seemingly unimportant, things that will weaken the relationship to the point where it will break very easily.

This type of relationship will take an honest assessment of what each of you has done, or not done, to weaken the relationship. Once you've both admitted the part you've played in the breakdown of the relationship, at least to yourself, it's time to sit down with your partner and honestly discuss what went wrong, what you think needs to be done to make it right, as well as what you personally are willing do to fix the relationship.

This part of the process will be very difficult and will often lead to some horrendous fights. Why? Because this is the part where you will have to listen to your partner tell you why they aren't happy with you. This won't be easy for you to hear. And the same goes for your partner when it's your turn to talk. Very often one partner won't be able to deal with what they perceive as criticism when their partner is trying to explain why they aren't happy. Once that happens it will often end up in a screaming match and nothing will get accomplished.

This is the point where you, and your partner, will need to grow up. If neither one of you is able to calmly listen to your partner while they try to explain what has made them unhappy in the relationship you won't have any chance at all of working things out.

Healing a broken relationship isn't impossible, but it will take work. If you or your partner aren't able to be mature and able to face your faults and be willing to work on changing them then you will have a much harder time of fixing your relationship.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Advice On Love To Save Your Relationship

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Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it's tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it's aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It's not so much about how much time you spend together, it's more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together. Keep that in mind when going over the list:

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1. Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it's your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma's, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.

This is so important for two reasons. One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life. That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you'll be more relaxed and at ease. And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other. It's fun to have shared experiences where you can say 'remember when we did...'? That creates a deeper bond between the two of you.

2. So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day, or if they picked up milk on the way home. Try to make time each week to really talk. Don't turn it into a complaining time, just talk. Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc. Make it a positive time. Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.

3. Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner. Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don't let yourself forget that. And while you're reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too. If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh. So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on. And that's a shame. Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don't ever let your partner feel like you don't find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Many people will tell you that relationships are 'hard' and that they 'take a lot of work'. I don't agree. I believe that if you are with the right person, if you're both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy. Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Monday 16 November 2009

Healing From A Broken Relationship

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Healing from a broken relationship is a tough thing to do, but the good news is, it can be done. You just need to understand the process and allow yourself the time that you need.

One of the first things to remember is there is no time limit. It will take you as much time as it takes you, period. There is no set rule on how long it should take you, though you still should be making some forward progress after a few months. You may be a long way from being back to normal, but you should be starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

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One word of caution, though: if you don't seem to be making any progress at all, you may want to hire a therapist to help you through the worst of it. Sometimes having an objective third party who can offer unbiased advice is a good way to help us jumpstart our recovery. It may even help speed the process along a little, and who wouldn't want that?

Another thing you can do to help speed things along is find yourself. This may sound like strange advice but in most relationships you will lose a little of yourself. This seems to be particularly common with women. It's easy to become a 'we' and lose a little 'me'. And a little of that isn't a bad thing, but once the relationship has ended it's time to get your 'me' back.

This process will help you heal and grow. It will remind you that there was a time when you were happy without your ex. This 'reawakening' can be a very exciting time and it can help dull at least some of the pain you're feeling since the breakup. If nothing else, it will give you something to occupy your mind with.

Spending time with family and friends will help you enormously too. Surrounding yourself with people who love you will help you stay strong. When in the midst of a bad breakup it's easy to forget that you will be happy again. It can be hard to see past that black hole, but if you're with your family and friends they will help you feel the love that you are missing from your ex.

While this isn't the time to wallow, it might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of the things in the relationship that made you unhappy, or mad, or both. You don't want to dwell on the relationship too much at this point but reminding yourself of the bad times might help you gain a little clarity and move the healing process along a little bit.

No matter how you choose to go about it, just remember that healing from a broken relationship is possible. You will get through it and you will find love and happiness again. If you learn from your past relationship you can take that knowledge with you into your next relationship which will help make that relationship even better. Just hang in there.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Sunday 15 November 2009

Love Relationship Advice

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For most people, it's pretty easy to find love. The challenge often seems to be to be able to make it last. Keeping your love for each other strong is not impossible. You just have to understand why it falls apart and make sure you, and your partner, avoid those traps. That's where love relationship advice comes in handy.

With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet 'the one'. It's a much better method than cruising the bar scene looking for someone special. For most couples the first few months is pretty easy. You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect. You can see no wrong in them or what they do. And maybe there isn't anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.

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They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if that's true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.

Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship. These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it. If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:

1. Unrealistic expectations. As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong. As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, it's easy to lose some of that early 'glow'. This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just don't love each other anymore and break up.

In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this 'normal' mode than you will in the early 'glow' mode. It's important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.

2. Inability to effectively communicate. Men and women express themselves differently...that's just the way it is. The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if you're willing to take some time to learn how. The whole 'it's a guy thing' or 'it's a girl thing' is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out. In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner. The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?

3. Don't confuse sex with love. This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways. Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level. Yes, it's pleasurable, but the pleasure isn't just physical it's emotional as well.

Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man. For them too, it's pleasurable but it's also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity. Sometimes when a relationship gets to the 'comfortable' stage this difference in views about sex can create problems. If one partner doesn't seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.

If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of. While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, it's important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably won't be quite as important as it once was. That doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you or find you attractive, it's just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.

I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love you've found. Being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person really is one of life's blessings. Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Saturday 14 November 2009

Guy Advice On Healing A Relationship

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If you're struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship. You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don't know any more than you do. Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.

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There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". Neither one will mean a thing if they aren't sincere. The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.

Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else's pain, especially someone you love. That is a hard thing to do. So apologizing isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of being a man and being strong.

In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don't admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain. Again, a very 'manly' thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all. That's the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.

So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes. What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too. She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending like you don't really know what your wife wants? Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don't because it seems easier than actually helping. It's selfish. And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Friday 13 November 2009

I Want Him To Love Me Again

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"I want him to love me again" is expressed by many women all over the world, in different languages, environments and situations. Some married women find themselves saying those exact words to close friends or family members when they're not feeling the intimacy that was once an everyday part of their marriage.

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Some women have been on the bad end of a breakup or divorce and desire nothing more than the return of their man and his love. And some women were the instigators of the broken relationship, citing the loss of love as a reason or possibly rethinking their decision and hoping to return to the way things were. Whatever the situation, the sentiment is heartfelt but the solutions not always easy or clear cut.

If you're trying to win back your guy's love, one thing you need to understand is what men look for in a relationship and whether or not this was missing in yours. So, what are the things that men need? Above all, men crave admiration. So you need to let him know that he's wanted and admired.

While it may be obvious for you, it probably won't be as much so or enough to him, so when in doubt, go overboard with flirtation and affection. Did you get comfortable in the relationship and tend to dress casually most of the time and forget about make-up and sexy clothes? Or even worse, did you dress up for work but stay in sweats and tennis shoes at home?

Did your boyfriend or husband leave you for another woman? Most women mistakenly think their man has found a better looking women. That's not usually the case. In fact, when and if you end up meeting the "other" women who happens to be pretty normal looking, the typical reaction is to think. . ."what does he see in her"? It's most likely not just what he sees in her but what he feels in her. She makes him feel respected, admired and wanted again.

Are you still in your relationship and constantly being accused of being a nag by your partner? This isn't anything new, right? You’ll often hear men complain about being “nagged to death.”

What they're really saying is that they want their wife or girlfriend to be satisfied with who he is and what good qualities he has to offer. Realize that the nagging isn't the real problem – it’s the fact that you are conveying that you're unsatisfied with who he is and what he has to offer. That's what really gets to a man and drives him out of a relationship.

Don't take this to mean that you have to be lovey-dovey all the time and can never express your true feelings, anger or sadness. But when you are proud of your man, make sure he knows it! Don't just show the negative feelings that come up and take the love and admiration for granted. Keeping this in mind will keep the fire of his love alive.

This information should help you if you're in the mindset of "I want him to love me again."

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Thursday 12 November 2009

Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again - Yes I Can

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So you're now single or with someone new. . .but you can't get your ex out of your mind. You're always thinking "How can I get my ex to love me again. . ." And then you probably push the thought away because it seems impossible. The good news is that you can get your ex back in your arms. It has been done before, and not infrequently, and it can be done again, by you.

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Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, many of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men's and women's brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren't.

So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let's take a look at why he or she isn't around in the first place.

Why do men leave relationships? It's pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren't getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and maybe they found it somewhere else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her happy!”

Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”

Now, you might think that your ex's reasons for leaving don't fit into one of those categories. You may be thinking, "my husband left me because I cheated on him." But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren't getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or maybe you're thinking. . .although that's not an excuse. Or maybe you're thinking "My girlfriend left me because I was never around." But ask yourself, why were you never around?

Now that you're not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in your relationship. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.

Then, after you've had time to concentrate on yourself and look at your relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don't re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question "Can I get my ex to love me again?" Yes, you can!

The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you'll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.

But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to "Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?" is "Yes, I can!"

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Wednesday 11 November 2009

How To Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again

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Have you lost your wife or girlfriend and been asking yourself "how to make her fall in love with me again?" Whether you feel that your less-than-happy relationship is coming to a close or it's already ended, you can actually turn the situation around to your advantage. You'll have to be commited and strong but getting her to love you again can be done.

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When you are so emotionally involved in a situation, you're too close to look at it objectively and analyze what the problems are and how to solve them. So the emotional side gets the better of you and you then end up making the whole situation even worse. The only way to make sure this doesn't happen is to maintain your dignity at all costs, no matter what. This most likely even means walking away (if you already haven't) in the beginning. And that is probably the hardest part. But it is the most effective way over the long haul.

Let's look at human nature. What you'll read next is sad but true. . .people get bored with something or someone who is there for them all the time, no matter what. Think about yourself. Are you attracted to someone who is always around, answering your every need and catering to your every whim? Pretty borning, right? Now think about how your wife or girlfriend sees you. How she sees you depends on how highly you value yourself. And if you don't value yourself enough right now, you need to change that. Learn to recognize what you deserve, not what you're used to. If you act like a loser, you will be treated like a loser. If you think of yourself as the victim of the situation, then you are the victim of the situation. Now ask yourself, why should anyone else, including your girlfriend or wife, think highly of you if you don't think very highly of yourself? Realize that things don't happen by themselves. . .only you have the power to change things about yourself, how you see yourself and how others treat you.

If you're not already doing so, take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods and exercise. Go out with friends more often and try to have some fun.

When you're not always hanging around just waiting for your wife or girlfriend to change her mind, she will actually have the chance to miss you . . . maybe not easy, but very effective.

The above actions will take you out of the "black hole" of your situation so that you can view it from a more objective angle while at the same time giving your girlfriend or wife the space that she needs and showing her that you are not going to wait around forever. Put these "how to make her fall in love with me" methods to work and enjoy the results.

6 tips to help your wife to fall back in love with you

Tuesday 10 November 2009

I Want My Wife To Love Me Again

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Are you unable to think about anything except "I want my wife to love me again"? Has your marriage gone by the wayside and you don't know why or what to do about it? Here are some tips that can help you out.

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If you don't know why your wife has stopped loving you (or so she says), then that's the first thing you need to figure out. First of all, if your wife is still with you, then she probably does still love you. If she didn't, she would be somewhere else. So that's something positive you want to keep in mind. So why is she saying that she doesn't love you or just acting like she doesn't love you?

The main reason that a woman will feel like she's fallen out of love is because she isn't getting the attention and appreciation that she craves. Women are multi-faceted and do many things for you and your family. They work, take care of the kids, do all the household duties, have a social life that includes other friends and families and other interests that you both may not share.

So, ask yourself, do you appreciate everything your wife does for you? Do you apprecitate that she is her own person and has her own ideas and interests, not all of which will be the same as yours. Do you appreciate all the little things she does to show you she cares? If so, then you need to let her know if you haven't already.

On the other hand, there is such a thing as overdoing it. You don't want to be fawning all over your wife and constantly asking her what's wrong and how you can help her or make her feel more loved. If you've been doing that and it's just making her push you away even more, then it's time to stop. Don't be negative or hostile about it. continue to be positive and cheerful.

But just give her space. Focus on taking care of yourself. Make sure you're eating right, exercising and going out with friends. Take the kids out on your own and leave your wife some time to herself. You can still offer comments up like "Boy, you sure do look nice today" but leave it at that. Then walk out the door and go to work.

Once you step back a bit and give your wife some space, as well as focus on yourself and show her that you are not going to dye without her, she will start to see you as someone that is to be admired and appreciated as well. Take it slow and let her make the first move towards you again. Hopefully this has helped you take some of the mystery and pain out of the statement "I want my wife to love me again."

6 tips to help your wife to fall back in love with you

Monday 9 November 2009

How Do I Get My Husband To Love Me Again

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"Dear Abby. . .How do I get my husband to love me again?" Have you been thinking this to yourself and wondering where to turn for help? You're marriage has gone stale and you don't know exactly why, or even if you do know why, you don't know exactly what to do about it.

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What usually happens unfortunately is that as time passes, the powerful love, respect and admiration that women feel from their husband is replaced by feelings of hurt, awkwardness and distance. Some women are sure that their husbands have fallen out of love with them. sometimes the husband actually spells it out. Or sometimes the husband denies this but the "something's-wrong-feelings" are still around. If you feel that your husband has fallen out of love with you, there are steps you can take to bring you back to where you once were in your relationship and/or to make your marriage even stronger.

Try to think back to when you and your husband first fell in love. Do you remember what you loved about him and what he loved about you? Of course we all change as we get older so some of our qualities have become stronger and some have disappeared. A really common example of this is when a career-woman becomes a stay-at-home mom.

Sometimes husbands miss the way their wives were before they became homemakers. So now you're thinking, "Well, I can't do anything about that!" To some extent that's true. You have a new and important role now in life that you shouldn't give up but you could try to add some variety in every once in a while by taking a night off to go out with friends or volunteer for a cause. This will remind your husband, and probably even yourself, that you are a multi faceted person with a lot to offer.

Here is something else that you need to consider if you're trying to get your husband to fall back in love with you. Remember what the bible says? "Do unto others as you would have done to you. . ."? How are you treating your husband? Of course how you act towards him may be altered if you feel that he doesn't love you anymore. But how have you been treating him in the last few years even before you noticed the change in him? It's easy and commonplace to start taking your husband for granted once you're married and even more so after the years go on. He probably does the same with you.

Maybe you've been dedicating yourself to the children for the most part and that means less one-on-one time with your man? Or maybe you're constantly nagging him about certain things you want done around the house which he neglects to do?

If you can switch your behavior around and start treating your husband the way you would like to be treated, he will eventually catch on and do the same. By letting your husband know that you appreciate and love him, you'll bring the two of you closer. And that is one answer to your question "How do I get my husband to love me again?"

6 tips to help your husband to fall back in love with you

Sunday 8 November 2009

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Love Me Even If Ive Cheated

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Are you asking yourself "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . ." after you've cheated? If so, you've probably already tried everything you can think of. You've told her it didn't mean anything, you've apologized over and over again and said you'd never do it again, you've begged on your hands and knees for forgiveness. But that didn't work and you're back to square one.

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You need to be careful when you're trying to win your girlfriend back under any circumstances. . .but especially if you've cheated. You do want her back desperately and would do anything to change what you did but it won't be in your advantage to appear desperate. That would only contribute to the many reasons she has for not accepting you back right now. But how can you show her how sorry you are then?

One of the best strategies in regaining your girlfriend's heart is to write her a letter. Tell her that you agree with her decision to take some time. Tell her that she's exactly right, the two of you should really be going your own separate ways. Tell her that you've seen the end coming for quite a while now. After that, write a short apology. Tell her how very sorry you are for cheating on her. Agree that it showed a tremendous lack of respect towards her and once again convey how you really regret having done it. And finally, reveal that something really wonderful as happened in your life and you'd like to tell her about it whenever you can. Sign off in a neutral way and you've created the letter.

Whether you've realized it or not, sending a letter that contains those concepts is an extremely effective way to get your girlfriend's "love blood" flowing again. You're showing in a very classy way that you know what you've done and understand how it has hurt her and, at the same time, you're showing her that you're not completely devastated and mucking around in self-hate and pity. ..you're ready to start anew. It's very likely when your girlfriend reads the letter that she will contact you soon afterwards and you won't be in the position of begging for her time and forgiveness anymore.

This is just the first step in winning your girlfriend's heart back and you will definitely need to be ready when she gets back in touch with you after reading your letter. While you're waiting for her answer, make sure you take care of yourself, go out with friends and keep yourself busy - concentrate on being positive and upbeat. You want to be in the right state of mind when your girlfriend gets back to you. Don't hang around the phone and mope when you haven't heard anything yet.

Give it time. And play it cool when she does get in touch with you. Hopefully this has helped you with the first step in your question of "How can I get my girlfriend to love me again. . .even after I've cheated."

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Saturday 7 November 2009

I Want My Husband To Love Me Again - Is That To MuchTo Ask

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"What do I want? I want my husband to love me again. That's the way it should be so why is it not happening?"

If you're thinking along those lines because you're trapped in what you consider to be a loveless marriage, then pay attention to the following steps that you can take to remedy the situation.

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All marriages have their own varying dynamics, problems and ups and downs. If you're still trying to work things out with your husband who has either told you that he doesn't love you anymore or just makes you feel that way, you are the one who needs to take action. The good news is that if your husband hasn't left you, then he probably still does love you, whether he knows it or not. You just need to prove it to him.

The most common reason that a man will distance himself or come out and tell you that he doesn't love you anymore is because he himself doesn't feel admired and respected. While it may be obvious to you that you admire and respect your husband, it may not be to him. There are many pressures that come into play in married life which cause admiration and respect to take a back step to disappointment and anger.

If you're putting your emphasis on your children, it's easy to get annoyed when your husband complains that you don't pay any attention to him anymore. After all, your children should be both of your priorities, right? And your husband should realize this, right? What your husband sees is that he is not getting the attention he once had. . .the attention that made him feel important and made him feel in love.

So, start by showing your husband a little more respect and admiration. This will most likely be very hard in the beginning, especially if he is ignoring you or just away a lot. It will bring your ego down a peg or two. . .but if it's worth it to you to get your husband back, then stick with it. Try a little less nagging about doing the house chores or work around the house. And when your husband does do something, thank him for it. Don't just take it for granted.

Try to be more affectionate in your words and actions. You don't want to be fawning all over him all the time, but you can tell him you love him and bring up good memories of the fun times you shared. If your husband just ignores you at first, don't let that stop you. Also make sure that you are taking care of yourself and doing things that you like to do. Eat right, get some exercise and go out with friends every once in a while. This will bring up your self-esteem and also change the way others, including your husband, perceive you.

If you're thinking "I want my husband to love me again", then take the above steps to get him back.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Friday 6 November 2009

How Can I Get My Husband To Fall In Love With Me Again

Get back with your ex husband

Whether you feel that you're in a loveless marriage or your marriage has taken a nose dive, you many be asking yourself "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again? This article will address some ways that can help you win back the heart of your husband (if you've really lost it, that is).

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If you happen to be in what you feel is a "loveless marriage", you should understand that if your husband is there, he probably still does love you. "Falling out of love" is a term that is often applied to hum-drum marriages but what it frequently means from the man's point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going. Your husband may have pulled away from you because he is not happy but can offer no more detailed explanation for his feelings. Men have a hard time accurately interpreting and then communicating what they are feeling. Even if they can't put words to it, what they are often feeling is the relationship doesn't make them feel good about themselves anymore.

When you first started your relationship, you were both putting your best foot forward and putting a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves.

So your relationship became stronger and both you and your husband felt wanted, important, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it's important to understand that when your husband says (or you think) he doesn't love you anymore, that might not be true. It's very likely that he's actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

So, now that you know this. . .what can you do? First, you get it all out. Tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and you miss the closeness and intimacy that you both once enjoyed. Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage. This could scare him because he thinks it will take a lot of work but don't worry about that. The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

Then you show him that he'll probably like what you have in mind. Define what you miss in your relationship. If that happens to be more affection, then show more real affection to your husband. If you want more appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Sure, you have to take the first steps, but in time, you'll see that he responds. It's not unusual in the beginning that your husband will just look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. This will probably be hard on your ego but don't give up! You'll see in time that you've found the answer to "How can I get my husband to fall in love with me again?"

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Thursday 5 November 2009

Can My Wife Love Me Again

Get back with your ex

If you're asking yourself "Can My Wife Love Me Again?", you're definitely not alone. All relationships and circumstances vary but many married couples face problems and lots of husbands are asking themselves the very same question. This article will give you some general start-up tips that can help you out.

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First off, you need to put yourself in the right mindset. If you're feeling down and low, you won't be very attractive to anyone, including your wife. So you need to turn your feelings around to be positive. Think of the good times you and your wife have had and how much she loved you when your relationship was just beginning. Think of how you courted her and think of how you can start doing it again. It should even be easier this time around since you know her better.

After you've put yourself into a more positive state, you'll need to objectively analyze the why's and how's of why she drifted off or even left you in the first place. Did you take her for granted and never offer thanks and appreciation for everything she did? Did you just fall into a comfortable mode and not feel the need to tell her and show her that you loved her? All women need to feel loved and taken care of. So start with the simplest way to win back her heart by saying "I love you." Do you remember the last time you spoke those exact words to her, and not just out of habit at the end of a phone call but while looking straight into her eyes? A lot of time may have already passed since the last genuine "I love you" came out of your mouth - it's something your wife needs to hear.

Another reason your wife may have distanced herself from you is if you treated her badly and didn't respect her. A lot of actions fall under that category and being unfaithful is at the top of the list. If this is you, then you need to change your ways. Women are extremely sensitive and comments or questions that might just be water off your back could really hurt her. If you constantly yelled at your wife, this is something that needs to stop. Are you willing to change? If you are asking yourself "Can my wife love me again?", you also need to ask yourself. . ."Am I prepared to change to win back her love?" Be truthful to yourself in your answer.

The thought of losing your loved one is frightening, especially if you've shared many years together. Hopefully these insights will help you reach your goal of winning back your wife's love and putting your family back together. And no matter what your situation, it's never too late to start over with a brand new slate.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Wednesday 4 November 2009

Your Question - How To Get My Wife To Love Me Again - Your Answer Here

Get back with your ex

It's a tough one you've been asking yourself for a while now. . . "How to get my wife to love me again?"

There are many avenues that need to be explored when coming up with an answer to your question and of course the answers depend on your specific situation and circumstances. But there are some basic strategies that any man can apply towards gaining his wife's love back.

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First, you need to figure out why your wife has stopped loving you (or why she says that she doesn't love you anymore, even if that may not be true).

What are some common reasons for this?

Reason Number 1:
I've lost my wife's love because I had an affair and she found out.

Reason Number 2:
My wife found someone new that she feels is better than me.

Reason Number 3:
I haven't stuck to my promises and agreements. I promised her that I would change my attitude or some of the things that annoy her but I haven't done so. This has lead to disappointment and loss of hope on her part.

Reason Number 4:
I neglected my wife in her eyes. I didn't give her the love and attention she needed.

Reason Number 5: I tried to control everything she did. I didn't allow my wife enough freedom and space to do what she wanted.

Once you've identified the reason or combination of reasons, you can start to go to work on the problem. Many marriages that fail do so because the real problems aren't really understood. Communication is a huge part of making the marriage work - and men think differently than women so even if you think you know how your wife feels about something (because that's the way you feel), chances are you probably don't. So talk to her.

Without the right communication, it's really hard to resolve and kind of conflict, big or small. The right kind of communication will allow your damaged relationship to start recuperating and later to thrive if you give your wife the opportunity to share her dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with you.

If your wife has conceded to trying in the marriage again, don't just go back to what wasn't working. Keep things interesting, do little things to show your wife how much you love and appreciate her or do something pleasantly surprising.

Keeping your promises is another important part of the equation. If you haven't kept your promises in the past, start doing so now. Your past broken promises have no doubt ruined the trust in your relationship but you can start repairing that now.

Finally, give your wife the space and time she needs. Let her know that you are there for her but don't smother her.

Hopefully the above information is enough to get you started working on your solving your big concern of "How to get my wife to love me again".

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Tuesday 3 November 2009

How To Improve Break Up Recovery

Get back with your ex

So how do you improve recovery from a break up? The trick is to get back together. Most couples split for silly reasons. With some good communication they could overcome their problems and be happy.

You first need to decide if you want to get back with this person. Forget about what they want for a moment and concentrate on what you would like. Once you are certain, you will be much more convincing as you persuade the other person to give you another chance.

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If you decide that you do not want to get back with your ex partner you should have no problem getting over the break up. But I don’t think you are willing to let that relationship go, do you?

You need to set up a meeting with your ex to discuss your future. Apologise for anything that went wrong, whether it was your fault or not; and agree to put it in the past. Yes you need to resolve your issues but you don't need to dwell on them.

Focus on the positives. What have you got going for you? Why should the two of you be together? Talk about the great times you have had, the history you share, the sexual attraction that burns between you and hopefully you will be celebrating getting back together very soon.

It may take a couple of meetings and a while to get back on track but it will be worth it. If you had a great relationship it is worth fighting for. Finding someone special to love who loves you in return isn’t easy and shouldn’t be given up lightly. Add to that a shared history, family and children and you will soon realise, if you haven’t already done so, that you belong together.

If there was a reason for your breakup, perhaps one of you had an affair; it doesn’t need to spell the end. Affairs always happen for a reason. Perhaps you were not paying your partner any or enough attention. Perhaps they felt taken for granted. Or it could be something as simple as too many drinks at the Christmas/office party. None of these make adultry right.

I know that it is not easy to accept your partner sleeping with someone else; but you can get over it. If you still love this person and want them in your life, go to couples counselling and see can the therapist help you both to work through your feelings. You may find that you cannot live with the deceit and betrayal and decide to split up after all. But you could also decide that by bringing all the problems into the open, you can resolve them and go forward with a much stronger relationship. You just need to approach the situation with an open mind.

Having someone you love in your life is far too important to let it go over something trivial or in some cases something very hurtful. So forget about trying to improve the "breakup recovery" and concentrate on getting your partnership back on track.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

Monday 2 November 2009

How To Avoid Break Up Letters And Stay Together

Get back with your ex

Nobody likes to receive a "Dear John" letter, phone call and thanks to technology; a "Dear John" text message (is that cruel or what?). The good news is that you can avoid getting break up letters and messages.

Quite simply you need to work hard at your relationship and treat your partner with love and respect. Always make time for them no matter how busy your life becomes.

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We all get carried away sometimes. We can spend too much time at the office or with our children or sorting out our friend’s problems. Meanwhile our significant other can feel neglected and this can lead them to breaking up with us.

Can you avoid this happening? Sure and it is often very easy. Becoming aware that you may be guilty of not putting your lover first will help. You can start showing them how you feel about them. Spend some quality time together and tell them how much they mean to you. Simple gestures work wonders and you don't even need to spend cash. Take the kids out for the day and let her have some time to herself. Or take him breakfast in bed. Think about things they love to do and surprise them.

Make sure you find time to compliment your other half so that they know how you feel. Often communication between the sexes can become strained and rather difficult. In fact some people say that it is like trying to have a conversation between two alien species. You need to make an effort as otherwise you could find yourself dumped in favour of someone who will.

The keys to a successful relationship are love, mutual respect and showing consideration. No partnership will survive without all three being present. The love bit is relatively easy! Showing mutual respect should be quite simple but we often put our partners down without realising we are doing it. We may watch TV when they are talking to us or we could have a laugh with our friends at their expense. We may even forget important events such as their birthday or some anniversary.

Showing consideration to others means we have to be a little less selfish. It can be difficult when you have kids or a demanding career or both to find time for yourself never mind someone else. Being a couple means finding extra time even if that necessitates setting the alarm clock for thirty minutes earlier.

Don’t confuse having a successful partnership with being a doormat. All couples argue and it is completely unnatural to expect otherwise. But it is how they argue that is important. When you do have an argument, you still need to treat your partner respectfully. Don’t use bad language or physical violence. Try to remain calm and listen to the other person’s side. Never bring up past events or disagreements. Focus on the issue that is causing the problem today and work on resolving it. And then go and enjoy making up.

Follow these tips and you should avoid the dreaded break up letters and messages.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you