Monday 30 August 2010

Getting The Boyfriend Back - Cool Tips For Doing So

Get back with your ex

Want to know some cool tricks for getting the boyfriend back? well, there are some things that may just work well for you. Of course, a lot of it depends on what happened between the two of you and how you've handled things since the breakup. If you've been a screaming shrew it's going to take longer. The best thing to do is to get started today.

Give your guy some space. Don't be clingy, whiny, or needy. None of those things are a huge turn on and it's unlikely that if you act like that he's going to be thinking 'Wow, I'm really missing out'. Be you, don't get obsessed with getting him back, instead live your life and figure out how to improve on the person you are. What part did you play in the relationship falling apart? Figure out what you did wrong and than improve on it.

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No one is perfect and no one is completely to blame when a relationship falls apart. Figure out how you can improve and what you may have done that contributed to the extinction of your relationship. Then address those issues so if you and your ex do get back together you can make it work this time around.

Even if you and your ex aren't able to make things work, at least you'll be a better person and you'll bring a better person to all the other relationships you'll have. You really can't lose.

I know it may be hard for you to face up to some of your foibles but it is totally necessary. Don't think, like many women do, that you can fix all the problems all by yourself either. For now it's enough for you to fix you but if the two of you do get back together it will have to be a mutual effort. Unless you were with a total saint and you are completely responsible for the problems both of you will have to work on things. But that's something that will come later, for now it's all about you and getting boyfriend back.

Once you've given your guy some space, and had some time to take a deep breath, the next thing you should do is try to find your ex and see if they want to get together. Nothing fancy, don't act like the two of you are going to get back together, you're just getting together as friends.

This meeting can tell you a lot about what your chances of making things work out really are. For example, if the two of you do meet and your ex seems really happy to see you, that's a good sign. It might not turn into anything but it's definitely a good start.

But if your ex spends the whole time talking about his new girlfriend, it's not such a good sign. Again, no matter what happens at least you can walk away knowing that you tried and that you didn't make a fool of yourself. Not only that, but you've spent some time improving the person you are. No matter what happens, these tips will help when it comes to getting the boyfriend back.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Sunday 29 August 2010

Getting Back Together After A Break Up - Maybe

Get back with your ex

Getting back together after a break up, is it possible, and if so how? First things first, yes it's possible to reunite with your ex after a breakup but the exact method and timing will depend on several factors. For one thing, why did the two of you break up? Did you leave or did they? How long have you been broken up for? What have you said and done before during and after the breakup? It's hard to give a one size fits all answer to that question but there are some common things that will work for most people.

First of all, remember, it takes two, no one person is totally responsible for everything that went wrong in the relationship, though that doesn't mean it's 50/50 either. Sometimes one person is more responsible for the trouble than the other. Figure out where you are in all that. How much of what went wrong are you directly responsible for? Come on, be honest. It may not be much fun to face up to the things you've done but if you really want your ex back it's the only way to do it. After all, why would they even consider getting back with you if you haven't changed at all?

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Once you've figured out how you screwed up the next step is to fix it. Nothing fancy, just figure out what areas you can use some improvement in and improve. This is a real win/ win situation. no matter what happens with your ex, you'll be a better person for the rest of your life. Not a bad deal all in all. Getting back together after a break up will require you to do this step.

Once you've faced things, made changes and are ready to show off what a great person you are, it's time to find your ex and let them see the shiny new you. Again, this step will depend a lot of how everything ended. Assuming there weren't too many sparks, and hopefully no restraining orders, you might want to casually suggest to your ex that the two of you meet.

Hopefully they'll accept, if not you may need to try to spend some time with mutual friends and let them see the new you. More often than not word will get back to your ex about how much you've changed. It won't hurt to let your friends know that you want to get back with your ex... your ex will probably hear about it through the grapevine.

Don't meet with them with the idea of talking them into taking you back, nope. Just meet with them and let them get to know you, the new you. Show them who you've become, talk is cheap, let your ex see for them self the changes you've made. That is the best way to convince them that the two of you have a chance of making things work this time around.

So, with some luck, patience and a lot of love you may just find that
getting back together after a break up is possible and good for both of you.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Saturday 28 August 2010

How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend - Be Open Minded

Get back with your ex

Learning the tricks on how to get back with your ex boyfriend might be tougher than you thought. No, it's not impossible. As a matter of fact it's probably more achievable than you may realize. The real problem is that in order to make things work this time around you may need to face someone that can really be difficult to face: you.

What I mean is that in any relationship there are issues. Some issues are big and some are small. Sometimes the issues are fairly evenly divided between the two partners and sometimes it's almost exclusively one persons fault that things fell apart.

In order to learn how to get back with your ex boyfriend you have to be willing to face whatever issues you brought to the relationship, and that's not always fun to do. If you're strong enough and determined enough to get him back than you'll find the strength you need to make things work.

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One thing to look out for though, don't make the mistake of thinking that just because you make changes everything will be great for the two of you. It might be if you were 100% at fault with everything that went wrong and your ex boyfriend was perfect, but of course, we both know that's not the case. You can't change your ex, only he can change himself but if he won't be willing to fix himself the way you are fixing yourself, it might be all for nothing.

So, what do you do to change? Well, it depends on what your issues are but for the most part if you figure out your issues and you're completely honest with yourself you can figure out why you have the issues you have.

For example, if you're overly jealous it usually means that you've either had someone cheat on you before or you just don't feel worthy of the love your boyfriend gives you. If you don't feel like your worth it it's only natural that on some level you would think that he's made a big mistake loving you and that sooner or later he'll realize his mistake and leave you.

That's not true of course, but if deep down that's how you feel than that's how you're going to react. That could be a big issue in your relationships. The point is that if you're having trouble honestly pinpointing your own issues and the causes for them, then you won't be able to fix this relationship or any other for that matter. It's best that you find someone who can help you work through all of this. Don't get scared of the idea of working with a therapist, instead just find one that you like and feel comfortable with who can safely steer you in the direction you need to go.

It's really not all that hard learning how to get back with your ex boyfriend. It will take time and honesty on your part but if you can find the strength you will be able to have great relationships for the rest of your life, not just romantic ones either, but all of them.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back - What Went Wrong

Get back with your ex

If you want to know how to get an ex boyfriend back the best answer I can give you is to figure out what you did wrong, change it, let him see the changes and hope for the best. It may sound lame but that is actually very good advice and it works more often than not.

But, there are some pitfalls you have to watch out for. For one thing, you shouldn't accept total responsibility unless you really are totally responsible. Women are very bad at trying to fix relationships, they will often carry more of the burden than they should. It's great that you want to find and fix whatever problems you have, you should, by all means, but don't take all the blame if all the blame isn't yours.

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If you're not sure you can be as objective as you should be, just talk to friends and family. Listen to what they have to say about your ex. Don't stick up for your ex, listen honestly and openly. Come from a place where you want to know the truth not from a place that you have to justify staying with someone who you maybe shouldn't stay with. That is not the best way to learn how to get an ex boyfriend back.

Once you've got a starting point on what you did wrong and what your ex did wrong, you can start to make changes. Of course, you can't change your ex. Only he can change if he really wants to, but starting on you will benefit you in two ways and that might be all it takes.

For one thing, you'll be a better person. It's like knowledge, no one can ever take that away from you. If you spend time improving yourself it will pay dividends throughout your life and with all your relationships, not just your romantic ones.

Also if you make changes and you and your ex do get back together it might spur him to make the changes he needs to make too. Sometimes we can use peer pressure in a good way. It's possible that he's so impressed with the woman that you've become that he wants to be a better man. If that happens your relationship can actually be better than it's ever been before.

Make the changes, but don't stop living your life and don't pester him all the time. Give him some space and enjoy your life. Then, after you've had time to figure things out and improve on who you are, call him. Ask him if he'd like to get together as friends ( I know, I used the 'f' word but at this point it's the best approach. If he thinks you're going to make a big scene about getting back together he won't meet you).

During this time just have fun. Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow just enjoy each others company and let him see who you've become. That one single thing is the best chance on how to get an ex boyfriend back.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Friday 27 August 2010

Get Your Ex Wife Back - Are You Sure

Get back with your ex

You may not realize it, but no matter how badly you messed up and how much you hurt your ex wife, it still may be possible to get your ex wife back. I'm not saying that it will be easy or that it will be quick, but it may be possible. you just have to decide if you are truly wiling to invest the time and effort it will take to do what is necessary to win her back.

If you can't really commit to the process totally you really should consider letting her go and find happiness. If you start down the road and you aren't able to take it all the way you will only get your hopes, and her hopes, up and you will both be disappointed. I'm not sure that you really want to put yourself through that.

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OK, you're still reading so I guess that means that you're willing to do whatever it takes to prove to your ex that you're a changed man and that you still love her and want her back. Here's what you need to do: you need to become a changed man. Lip service and hollow promises aren't going to work anymore. It's time to suck it up and put your money where your mouth is. Time to change.

Step one of the process is figuring out what you need to change. This may sound easy but it's actually one of the hardest things to do because it requires you to look at yourself with complete honesty and many times we don't totally like what we see. If you really want to get your ex wife back you need to figure out what to change.

If you're not totally sure what you need to do, just think back to when the two of you were married. What did you argue about? More than likely your ex told you the things that you said or did ( or didn't say or do) that caused her hurt and pain. That is a great place for you to start. When she tried to tell you how she felt did you listen? Or did you get angry and defensive and feel like she didn't love you? That's a common response many people have. They somehow take it personally when their spouse tries to let them know how they're feeling. When your ex told you she felt a certain way about something, it's about her, not you.

If you really can't figure the problem out and you can't really find anyone to ask, you might want to spend a few sessions with a therapist. I know, most people find this prospect daunting ( a lot of people won't admit it's daunting they tend to use terms like 'a waste of time' or 'b.s.' but in reality they're really just scared of what they may hear). Anyway, a therapist can help you cut through all your own issues and will show you the things you need to see but aren't quite able to see on your own.

This process really is the only way you can do what needs to be done to finally get your ex wife back.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Wednesday 25 August 2010

Get Back Together With Ex - Yes - When You Do It Right

Get back with your ex

You want to get back together with ex. You broke up a month ago and now you wish you hadn't. You know now that she is the one for you and that you made a mistake by breaking up with her. Now you want to know if you can undo that mistake.

How do you fix it? Call her on the phone and ask to meet her for coffee or lunch. If she agrees, pick a quiet place where you can have some privacy. If that is not possible then suggest the two of you go for a walk in the park, take your lunch or coffee with you.

When you have her all to yourself, tell her how sorry you are about the break up and apologize for hurting her. Tell her that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get her back into your life.

Click to get your ex back


Expect some anger from her at this point, she may even cry. Stay strong and do not get angry with her. She needs to feel these emotions and if you stay calm and do not react badly she will see that you are serious about getting back together.

A sincere apology can go a long way to healing hurt feelings. Take some flowers with you to this meeting and look her in the eye when you apologize. Touch her in some small way, too. Your hand on her hand or arm should be enough physical contact to get and keep her attention. Compliment her. Tell her you like the perfume she has on or you like the outfit she is wearing. Make her feel good about herself.

She may not believe you at first. If, after this first meeting, she has not jumped back into your arms and professed her undying love, do not get discouraged. Be persistent when you want to get back together with ex but do not go overboard. There is a fine line between persistence and stalking.

Since your objective here is not to get yourself arrested but to win back the woman of your dreams, you need to tread lightly. Be attentive but do not get creepy. You want her to run toward you not away from you. If you ask her out or say you are going to do something, be where you say are going to be at the time you say you are going to be there. If something comes up and you find you will be late, be considerate and call her. Do not just leave her hanging.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you here is, you need to rebuild the trust and respect you lost when you broke up with her. It may take some time but persistence will pay off. If you truly want to get back together with ex you need to understand that trust and respect has to be earned and even though you lost it in an instant, it will take some effort on your part to get it back.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Tuesday 24 August 2010

Get Back With Ex Girlfriend - Easy - Perhaps Not

Get back with your ex

I have got some advice for you if you are serious about learning what to do to get back with ex girlfriend.

The first thing you need to realize is that she no longer trusts what you say or do. She may still love you even though since she broke up with you she has been trying not to and she doesn't understand how she could still love you when you treated her so badly.

Your first step should be figuring out the reason, or reasons, why you treated her so badly in the first place. Now, I'm no therapist but I do know that everything that happens, happens for some reason and everything has it's own special set of consequences. Good or bad. If you really want a second chance with the girl, you need to figure out why you act and say the things you do. From that point on you'll need to change your habits and that will take time and commitment.

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It's usually a case of insecurity when people treat other people badly. No one wants to admit it if they're insecure, usually not even to themselves, but more often than not that is the reason. I've often said that money isn't the root of all evil, insecurity is. If you're over compensating because you feel inadequate and you think that by acting like a 'big man' and letting your girl know 'who is the boss' you're some how more of a man, I've got news for you. This is one of the surest signs that you are actually not 'the big man' and that you are in fact a scared little boy who desperately wants the love of your woman but are too afraid to let her know that.

Guess what, she already does know that, on some level at least. Everyone can see when someone is trying to over compensate. It's very common, you see it all the time. Some guy will have a really loud motorcycle, or another guy will treat his girl like garbage, still another guy will try to prove he is a man by sleeping with every woman he can find but none of that is the way to get back with ex girlfriend.

If you're really a man, you won't need to work so hard to try and prove it. Just by being a decent, caring, honest person people around you will respect you and trust you and if you really want to be the 'big man' that is a much more productive way to go about it than all the over compensating phoniness.

Even after you've faced up to your own b.s don't expect your girl to trust you. No matter how hard you may try to convince her that you've changed, actions speak louder than words and if you're really serious about getting her back you'll have to show her that you've changed. That will take time. If you're not willing to invest the time necessary it's best that you just let her go to find a guy who is a man and can treat her the way she deserves to be treated and forget about trying to get back with ex girlfriend.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Monday 23 August 2010

Getting Back With Your Ex - Fix What Broke

Get back with your ex

It's over, and you don't want it to be. But what can you do, what tricks will help you with getting back with your ex? Well, don't stoop to tricks. Instead try honesty and start with yourself.

If you really want another shot at a relationship with your ex you'll want to find out the problems the two of you had before and then make sure that those things are fixed so you don't just get back together and break up all over again.

Take some time, and a deep breath, and think back to what happened in your relationship before. What did you do or say that maybe you shouldn't have done or said? What did your ex do or say? Be honest now, who did the most screwing up, you or your ex? Figure out what you have to do to make yourself a better version of you and start there.

Click to get your ex back


Don't worry too much at this point about your ex making changes, they either will or they won't but for right now you can only worry about you. You only have control over you. So start there. Figure out what areas you're weak in and make changes.

Are you overly clingy, jealous, whiny? If so, why? If you act like that there is a reason. Did you have another person in your life that made you feel insecure and unsure of where you stood?

Do you fly off the handle and get mad for no real reason? If so, why? Do you feel insecure in your relationship or in who you are? None of these things are easy to face. No one wants to admit that they're not a pillar of strength and confidence but it's often something as simple as one or more of these issues that can sabotage a relationship and until they're faced and resolved the issues will keep coming back, no matter who you're in a relationship with.

Finding the cause and curing it can go so far to help with getting back with your ex, it can also help you have better relationships in all areas of your life from work to your mother.

If you really want this to work, don't be afraid to enlist all the help you can, that may mean finding a counselor to work with. A lot of people will make a lot of excuses for not going to a counselor but it's really all about fear. People don't want to go because they are afraid of what they may hear. Most people would rather live in a state of denial rather than having to make significant changes to who they are. If that's who you are do yourself a favor and take the first step by facing all your issues head on.

I don't mean to sound like an ad for the army but if you need help getting back with your ex, being all that you can be is a great place to start.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Saturday 21 August 2010

Saving A Relationship - 1st Step And Beyond

Get back with your ex

The first step in saving a relationship is to determine if it is worth saving. Do you still love each other? If the answer is yes then, by any means possible, try to save it.

There are no doubt walls have built up between you. Whatever the reason is for those walls to have been built, get rid of them. If this is going to work you must both agree to start with a clean slate and just forget about what brought you here to begin with. Everything will get worked out in time.

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Time. Your relationship did not get this bad overnight and it will not get fixed overnight either. So, understand that if it is to be fixed it will take some time. The sooner you start, the sooner your relationship will be back to normal.

Try to look at the situation from your partner's point of view. This will give you a new perspective on the problem or problems affecting things so negatively. Too often when things start to go bad, one or both people in the relationship go into what they think is survival mode and figure it is every man or woman for themselves. You stop working and thinking as a team. No relationship can survive without teamwork.

The best way to get your partner's perspective on the relationship is to sit down with them and ask them what they think. Never be so presumptuous as to insist you know what your partner is thinking. You could be dead wrong and that would only make things worse.

So, when first inviting your partner to sit and talk about saving a relationship, make sure that any ego or pride is left at the door. Remember the saying, "Pride goeth before the fall." Make up your mind, do you want your pride or do you want your partner? You most likely cannot have both. If you choose your pride then your relationship will fall.

Set the ground rules for your talk. First, let your partner have the floor and let them get everything out on the table. Show your partner some respect and do not comment or interrupt them when they are speaking. Wait patiently for your turn and then focus only on the issues at hand. Take notes if you need to so you can respond to whatever it is they want to say.

Stay cool, calm, and collected, do not get angry at them for voicing their opinions and make sure when it is your turn they know that they should do the same. The only way this will be effective is if the hurt and anger stays at the door with the pride.

Whatever the issues are talk each one through to a solution. Do not leave anything unresolved. This may mean you have to have more than one session with each other. Do not get too busy for these sessions, make appointments if you need to and stick to them. Anything that gets left behind will just fester like a splinter in your finger and pretty soon the infection will spread to the bloodstream of the relationship and your relationship will die from sepsis.

Saving a relationship takes time and effort on both parts. Taking the time and making the effort shows each other you are committed to doing what needs to be done to keep your relationship strong.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Friday 20 August 2010

How To Stop A Divorce Before Its To Late

Get back with your ex

If you're one of the millions of people who are heading for a divorce they don't want and you're asking how to stop a divorce, you'll be happy to know that it can still work out. Even though it might seem impossible and it might be an up hill climb, please don't give up hope. By using the right tactics you'll be surprised at how often people can pull their marriage back from the edge.

start with trying to talk to your spouse, and while this should be one of the easiest things to do in many cases, it's the hardest thing to do because of a long history of the two of you not being able to effectively communicate. That has become a habit in your relationship and it's not going to change all on it's own. So, to help accomplish this step, you might want to visit a therapist who can help you find better, more effective ways to talk to one another.

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It sounds so stupid, and so easy to overcome, but communicating is not as easy as it seems like it should be. We are always bound by our own issues, whether we know it or not. We all have some insecurity about things and that insecurity can come across unexpectedly. For example, if you were told multiple times while growing up that you were dumb and your partner says something that seems to insult your intelligence, you're likely to be much more sensitive than you should be. You'll snap at them and they will get mad and wonder what the heck they did wrong, and a fight will erupt. Learning to overcome all of this can be a huge step towards learning how to stop a divorce.

Again, an impartial therapist can help you pinpoint these areas of weakness and learn to work around them. Figuring out the issue is only half of the battle, you also need to learn how to overcome the issues that cause you strife in your life. The truth is that these issues have caused you problems in all aspects of your life, not just your marriage. Getting them solved will make you a much happier person all the way around.

Also always try to put yourself in your partners shoes. It's not always easy to step outside of ourselves and see things from your partners perspective but learning how to do that will take some time and practice. If you can come out of your little world and see things from others point of view, then you will be a better person and a better partner. If you can both do it, than you will have a much fuller relationship not just with your partner but with everyone you see.

It's never easy to see a valued relationship fall apart slowly, but there are many things you can do to stop it. Just take some time to figure out where you and your partner are coming from and make every attempt to respect both of you. Doing this is the best way to learn how to stop a divorce.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Thursday 19 August 2010

Relationship Psychology - Can Save Your Relationship

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The science of relationship psychology can be used to improve your relationship, at it's core its simply a way to learn how to identify and learn to change the destructive things you do in a relationship. This could be something as simple as always falling for the wrong person or just being so insecure that you slowly tear your relationship apart.

Learning to understand each other, and actually listen to what your partner has to say is a vital skill that you must learn if you want peace in your relationship.

It's no surprise that men and woman communicate differently, too. We all know that men tend to like to take action and women are more likely to want to talk about the situation. That in a nutshell is the big reason why men and women have so many difficulties in relationships, they just need to learn how to communicate more effectively with each other.

Click to get your ex back


When it comes to using relationship psychology to help improve your relationship, talk to your partner about what they think is the perfect relationship and what they expect this relationship will be like. They may have an all together different idea than you do about the subject. Say, for example, that your husband grew up in a home where his father dominated everything then he may feel he has that right in his own relationship. And if you grew up in a family that was more democratic than that and everyone was allowed to be a part of any decisions that were made, then there will be problems in your relationship.

Getting things out in the open and learning to deal with them right from the beginning will enable the two of you to not have any misunderstandings or get your feelings hurt because you understand where the other is coming from.

If you think you have met your perfect match, your soul mate, the love of your life, that does not mean that everything will always be sunshine and roses. I think a lot of people who think they have met 'the one' mistakenly assume that they will always get along and the relationship will always be perfect and that they won't have to work at it. Well, let me tell you something, life is not a fairy tale and relationships like that only happen in fairy tales.

Having a healthy relationship does not just happen, it takes some effort on both your parts. So educate yourselves right from the beginning and then put what you learn into practice, simple.

If you really want to start out on the right foot, get some premarital counseling. There are counselors who specialize in premarital counseling or the minister of your church probably offers it as well. Use this time to build on the good things about your relationship and nip the problem areas in the bud. The counselor can teach you both how to communicate effectively and give you both insight into how your partner thinks and behaves in certain situations.

Relationship psychology can be an effective tool to use to build a healthy relationship between you and your partner.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Wednesday 18 August 2010

I Lost Love - Getting Lost Love Back

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I lost love because I did something stupid, how can I get it back? Unfortunately that question, or variations of it, has been asked millions of times by millions of people throughout history. If you are one of those people there are some things that you can do to help yourself win back that person that you just can't seem to get over or get out of your heart.

Your approach will be different depending on your unique circumstances but remember that even if your ex is with someone else, that up to 90% of rebound relationships don't work out and in most cases the couple end up breaking up within six months.

Click to get your ex back


That should give you some hope, and a little breathing room, while you figure things out. The first thing you have to do is to figure out why you did the stupid thing that you did. Were you lashing out at your ex because they said or did something that hurt your feelings, if so, you better learn to grow up and hold your tongue the next time around. Find better ways of dealing with these types of situations, there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things, find the right way.

Was it a case that you were just selfish or insensitive (or maybe both) this too is a signof immaturity, so if you really want to make things work when you are able to get back your ex, you'd better make some changes sooner rather than later. If you don't change your behavior, you won't change the outcome and you'll be right back saying I lost love because I did someting stupid... again.

A good thing to do is to apologize, sincerely, and explain why you did what you did and what you plan to do to make some changes. A lot of times just having a set 'game plan' that you can explain to your ex to let them know you are serious about making changes, will go a very long way to winning back the ex you've wronged. Make sure that you can present a specific plan otherwise it might just seem like lip service.

It's never going to work if you don't prove to your ex that you've made real change and that you're 100% committed to making yourself a better person, and a better partner. If you can convince them that you are serious, they'll have a slightly easier time of trusting you. Remember, that the stupid things you did before caused your ex a lot of pain, and they're going to think twice before they risk that kind of hurt again. They need to believe that you won't hurt them again, and just saying it won't cut it most of the time.

Do not cause yourself, and others, needless pain by continually repeating the same old stupid patterns of behavior over and over again. Instead save yourself a lot of pain and keep yourself from ever having to say 'I lost love because I did something stupid' ever again.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Tuesday 17 August 2010

I Miss My Ex Boyfriend - 2 Choices To Make

Get back with your ex

The break up happened six months ago and you are still saying, "I miss my ex". You are also wondering how this is even possible. He hurt you badly by having that affair and when you broke it off you thought you would be done with him forever.

You now have two choices. You can try to get him back or learn effective ways to get over him and get on with your life.

If you choose to try to get him back then you have to ask yourself two very important questions. If he comes back will he just hurt me again? And, is he worth taking back? The answer to these questions are, if he hurt you once he will probably do it again. Especially if he does not think he did anything wrong in the first place. So the answer to the second question is fairly obvious, no, he is not worth taking back.

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You need to figure out why you are still saying, "I miss my ex". Is it because you still love him or do you miss the drama of the relationship? If you know deep in your heart that he was no good for you and you just miss the drama, my advice to you would be to get some counseling. Counseling is not a bad thing. Having been where you are I can tell you it was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

A good counselor can work with you to change the things in you that make you attract all the losers you have attracted your whole life. Maybe you do not think you are worthy enough to have someone decent in your life. A counselor can help you work through the things that have affected your self-esteem and help you see yourself in a different, more positive, light.

Once you start to feel more confident you will miss your ex less and less. You will start to realize that you are better off without him and that no one deserves to be hurt the way he hurt you. You can finally stop being a doormat and take charge of every aspect of your life, including your love life. Make an appointment at your salon and get a new hairstyle, go shopping with the girls and buy a new outfit or two. Start going to different clubs when you go out with the girls.

With all your new found confidence, you may just start to see that you attract a different type of man. There are men out there who like a confident woman, a woman who can seemingly do anything she puts her mind to. Just remember to not fall back into those same old tendencies of being a doormat when it comes to your relationship. Stay strong and confident and one day you will think back and wonder why the heck you hung on to that loser and almost embarrassed yourself by saying, "I miss my ex", for so long after your break up.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Monday 16 August 2010

Relationship Self Help - Simple Relationship Tips

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Believe it or not there are some very simple relationship self help techniques that you can apply to your relationship to regain some of the closeness you once felt for each other. It is really too bad that day to day challenges get in the way of the love you have for each other and put it all on the back burner.

If things do not get switched to the front burner every now and then it seems as if they almost get forgotten and then the harder it is to remember where to find them again. It is as if you went from not being able to keep your hands off of each other in the beginning to rarely ever touching each other after five years.

To keep a relationship alive, touching is very important. It shows the other that even though there are a million and three things that need to be dealt with, you are trying to stay connected, even in some small way. Hold hands wherever you go, walking down the street, riding in the car, sitting and watching TV together, whatever. Also, reach out and touch your partner even as you just walk by them. This will make them feel loved and let them know you care.

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Did you know that research shows that if you talk to your partner about anything and everything throughout your relationship it is less likely that either one of you will explode over something huge. Know why? Because if the lines of communication are open for the little things, then they will stay open for the bigger things that come along. Learning to communicate effectively is the single most important relationship self help technique you can do to improve or maintain your relationship.

Another technique you can use is to try to remember the things you like and love about your partner. Stop focusing on the things that annoy you and turn your attention back to the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Those little annoyances creep in and soon become big annoyances and then they just seem to take over and dwarf everything else that really counts in your relationship.

Last, but not least, do you spend all your time together or not enough time together? Either way can be damaging to a relationship. Too much time together can cause those little annoyances we talked about to rear their ugly heads a lot sooner and also encourage boredom. Think about it, if you are spending every waking moment together you will end up not having a single thing to talk about. So, spend some time away from each other every once in a while. Miss each other. You will come back to the relationship with a new appreciation for your partner, not to mention maybe a good story or two to share.

Using one or all of these relationship self help techniques will help keep your relationship strong and healthy and your love alive and well.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Sunday 15 August 2010

How To Win Love Back The Right Way

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If you are trying to find reliable information on how to win love back then keep reading. If you want to get your love back then you might be in for a harsh reality check. No one is perfect and there are probably some improvements that need to be made before she will agree to come back to you.

You need to be honest with yourself and figure out why she left. What did she say when she left? Did she give a reason or did she just walk out? You know you two have been arguing a lot more lately, go back over what has been said during the arguments and see if you can figure out what the problem was.

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When it comes to relationships, nothing is more important than trust. If you did something to make her distrust you then you have a long row to hoe to get that trust back. It won't be easy but it is not impossible to regain that trust.

First step: A-P-O-L-O-G-I-Z-E.

And mean it. Do not just go through the motions. She will see through it and trust you even less. If you are serious about learning how to win love back, do not play games.

She needs to know she can rely on you. In other words, are you dependable? Do you do what you say you are going to do or do you say you will do it and then blow it off? Keep in mind, you will build trust faster and get more respect from her if you keep your promises and get things done in a reasonable time frame.

Listen to her when she speaks. Look her in the eye, pay attention, and respond accordingly.

You will make her feel as if she is the center of your universe and if listening to her is not something you did before, she will take notice and begin to think that maybe you have changed for the better.

Do not let communication shut down like it did the first time around. If something is bothering either of you, initiate a talking session so the small thing doesn't turn into a big thing and then get blown all out of proportion.

Take an interest in what is important to her and she will return the favor at some point. If she likes to plant flowers and has a nice garden out back, go out and help her plant some other things or help pull weeds, even if you don't see the point. Maybe she will see the effort you are making and try to learn more about that basketball or football game you want to watch on Sunday. Do not expect her to wait on you while you sit and watch the game either. Get up and get your own beer and ask her if she wants one. Offer to explain how a play is run or why the ref made that crappy call.

Learning to share the things you both like will keep the relationship alive and well. Before you know it, how to win love back will turn into how I won love back and you both will be happier than ever.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Saturday 14 August 2010

Still In Love - My Ex Isnt Or Maybe He Is

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Wow, what a mess. I'm still in love my ex says he's not. What should I do? If that sounds like you than you aren't alone. You'd be surprised at how many people still carry a torch for their ex. And no matter what your ex says, it's very likely that they still care about you too. But how can you find out, should you call them and let them know? Or, should you keep your distance and play it cool and hope they'll realize that they still love you?

Instead of risking humiliation by pouring your guts out to your ex - right before they introduce you to their new love, take things slow and get a lay of the land. This can be done in several ways, you can ask your friends to discreetly ask around about your ex. They can find out if they're seeing anyone or if they've been going to the same places that the two of you used to go (if so, this could be a sign that they're hoping to 'bump' into you. Especially if it's a place they never went before the two of you got together). Just encourage your friends to use discretion. If your friends are the type of people who don't have a real strong grasp on discretion, this may not be the best approach for you to try.

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Another way to find out if your ex has any feelings for you still, is to ask them. Again, discreetly. As we discussed above, you don't want to take the chance of being humiliated so instead of coming right out and asking use subtlety to find out. Call them up, say 'hi' ask what they've been up to. It's all very casual and you're not committing to anything, you're just trying to be friendly. It can be hard to take it slow when all you can think is 'I'm still in love my ex might love me too' but you have to.

Don't start asking them about the people they are seeing. This will either come across as being an interrogation, or they'll guess your real intentions. Instead just forget that the two of you ever had a past and just be the fun loving, easy going person they fell in love with the first time the two of you got together.

Keep the reminiscing to a minimum unless they bring it up. If they do make a lot of references to the past it's very likely that you've got your answer. If they really didn't still care for you it's not very plausible that they'd keep talking about the past, as a matter of fact, it's not real likely that they would have met you for coffee in the first place.

If they bring it up, or you think that they are receptive, talk about the two of you. Again, if it seems like the right time to do it, tell them that you still care for them. This doesn't necessarily have to be a confession of your undying love, it's not unusual to still care for an ex, so if they react badly you're not on the hook. If they say that they still care for you or that they miss you, it might just be the beginning of act 2 for the two of you!

With a little subtle sleuthing you might just find out that you'll be saying: 'I'm still in love my ex still loves me too!'

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Friday 13 August 2010

Relationship Rescue Plans Can Save Your Love

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Do you need a relationship rescue plan? If life has gotten in the way of the two of you spending quality time together and all you seem to be doing lately is sniping at each other about stupid stuff that really doesn't mean anything, maybe you two need a break.

Plan a weekend away and just go relax and try to reconnect. It doesn't have to be expensive or even far away. Just somewhere the two of you can spend some time alone and start to rebuild your relationship.

While taking your weekend away, plan to talk things out. Promise each other you will both be as open and honest about everything as you can be. You need to work together to save your relationship.

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Another suggestion would be to join a group (maybe your church offers one) that is taking couples on a retreat, if you are both willing. Not exactly couples counseling but if you feel as though you need a relationship rescue, a couples retreat could work out nicely for both of you. You will be required to open up and talk about your feelings during group therapy discussion, compete with the other couples in physical challenges, and learn how to better communicate with your partner by completing specialized communication exercises with your partner.

A couples retreat could be very eye opening and beneficial in learning what your partner thinks about your relationship. You may learn something you did not know about your partner and vice versa. Anything fresh and new that the two of you can share will open up doors you did not know were there and inject new life into your relationship.

When you get home, make a plan for the future. Sit down together and list some goals that you each would like to see happen in one year, five years, ten years. You get the picture. When each of your lists are complete then compare them, see what goals you have in common and try to combine them so you have one list with mutual goals on it. Keep any other goals on a separate list and pick one from it when the mutual goals have been realized in the time frame you chose.

If one of your goals is to remodel a section of the house, again sit down and plan out everything that you think a remodel would entail. Make sure that the two of you are on the same page when it comes to the type of fixtures you want and what you want the finished room to look like. Good communication is necessary to complete a project like a remodel and to reduce or eliminate misunderstandings it is essential to talk things through and have a plan. Whether you plan to do the work yourselves or hire it out communicating effectively with each other and the contractor you hire is very important.

So now you know that if you need a relationship rescue plan, your relationship really is in your hands and the two of you can make it or break it. It is all up to you.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Thursday 12 August 2010

How To Get Back With Ex - Girlfriend - Wife - Boyfriend

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Is it possible to learn how to get back with ex boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives? The quick answer is yes. Most everyone has had to deal with a relationship ending at one point in their lives but not everyone knows that the end does not necessarily have to be the end.

Did you know that 90% of relationships can be put back together? That's right 90%. The trick is learning what to do and then doing it. It is a process and there are specific steps you need to take to accomplish your goal.

Your ex probably told you in no uncertain terms why they were leaving you. What happened? Did you exhibit some bad behavior they just couldn't tolerate anymore? Did you cheat on them? Whatever the reason is or was the first thing to do is change the behavior. Fix what needs to be fixed.

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When the new you has emerged and you have changed your way of thinking and behaving, the next thing to do is apologize. Send a note with some flowers or something nice and make your apology sincere. Do not come off as sounding needy or desperate though, this is a giant turn off. Your ex will not talk to you if you sound needy or desperate. You want things to change? Change them. The love you save could be your own.

When confronted with the task of learning how to get back with ex partners, learn what to say and how to say it. There are specific strategies you can learn to allow you to do this. When you master this incredible art of communication you will have your ex eating out of the palm of your hand.

Like I said, this is a process you have to learn and get comfortable with so do not expect to be able to get your ex to come running back to you tomorrow if they just left you today. With careful planning and some time and effort, you can make them see that they still love you and probably made a mistake when they left you in the first place.

Too many people break up and then make the changes they needed to make during the relationship. They do not realize that if they had made the changes while still in the relationship they may not have broken up when they did.

Another piece of advice I can give you is, after you have accomplished your goal of getting back together, do not become a passive onlooker. Keep working to strengthen what you have gotten back. You had to work hard to get your ex back and you will have to work hard to keep them. Show them everyday what they mean to you. This does not have to be anything huge or extravagant, just find someway to show your partner that you appreciate them. I guarantee you will not regret learning how to get back with ex partners.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Stop Your Divorce - Yes - Maybe - NO

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When it comes to trying to stop your divorce most of us will do the exact opposite things to what we should really do. One of the most common things is to plead, beg and promise to make changes. A better thing to do is to be realistic. Sometimes a marriage can't be saved, and maybe shouldn't be saved. Decide if your marriage really should be saved.

It's easy to get scared of the prospect of being alone, especially when you've been with someone for a long time. Just make sure that that is not the reason you want to stay married. It's not a good reason.

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If you find that you really do want to save your marriage for the right reasons than you have got options. Here are some things you can do, or not do, to help save your marriage:

1. First things first, assuming that your partner isn't just a jackass, but has been a loving partner to you and has just gotten to the point where they don't see a future between the two of you, take some time to evaluate how you and your marriage have changed since the two of you have been together.

It's sad but true that we often drift apart from each but it happens so slowly we don't even realize it. Try to compare where the two of you are now in your relationship as opposed to where you used to be. Now don't be unrealistic. People change and so do relationships, you can't expect to feel exactly the same way together as you did when you were twenty. That's unrealistic. But that doesn't mean that as the two of you have changed and grown that your marriage can't change and grow and stay strong too. Has it? Or have the two of you gone your separate ways without even realizing it?

2. After you've given that some thought and hopefully come up with some ideas, talk to your spouse. I mean really talk, talk like you probably haven't talked to each other in years. Openly, honestly without anger and resentment. Don't accuse, just suggest. Tell them what you think and ask them what they think. Even though you are both coming at it from different angles, you might just find that you are both on the same page. Talking will help you find out.

3. One of the best things the two of you can do is to find a counselor who can guide you down this path. The two of you have probably had years of poor communication skills and bad habits, it's going to be hard to break those bad habits alone. A counselor can help. A counselor can also act as referee if things start to get a little too heated. If you really want to save your marriage this is usually the best way to go about it.

By trying to stop your divorce you just might make your marriage better than it's been in a long time, or maybe better than it's ever been. Just talk to one another, and more importantly, listen to one another. Find someone who can help you navigate this difficult path, and you'll have a very good chance of making things work out just the way you want.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Tuesday 10 August 2010

Relationship Break Up - 2 Schools Of Thought

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Breaking up is hard enough to do as it is, no one wants to have to endure a big scene where theres a lot of crying and pleading. Yuck. To find the best way to go through a relationship break up and make it as easy as possible on both of you, here are a few tips.

More than likely by the time you're ready to end the relationship you've already had enough emotional scenes to last a lifetime and just can't face the idea of another one. That's the reason that some people take the (tacky) route of leaving a voice mail message or sending a text message to breakup. While it's understandable that you'd want to avoid another scene, it's a crappy way to end a relationship.

There is a middle ground, somewhere between a tacky text message and a full on emotional assault:

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1. For one thing, make darn sure you really want to breakup. Now is not the time to be wishy washy. Give it some thought and don't do it on the spur of the moment or you may just end up regretting it and eating your words. But, once you've made up your mind give yourself a day or so to get your head around it. When the times comes you have to be calm and firm and allowing yourself time to get used to the idea will help you accomplish that.

2. Now that you've decided that a breakup is the right thing to do and you've gotten used to the idea, don't drag it out forever. Decide on the best time and place, and make it soon, to have 'the talk' with your partner. When choosing the best time and place you should choose a time where you can take some time and explain things. Don't tell your best friend or anyone else until you talk to your partner, you don't want someone to slip up and say something before you've had a chance to talk to your partner, the news has to come from you.

As to the location, there are two schools of thought on that. Some people recommend a restaurant or some place public to keep the scene to a minimum. While other people think that this type of conversation should be handled in private so that your soon - to- be-ex doesn't have the added humiliation of breaking down in public. Personally, unless I were afraid for my safety, I'd go for the private location. I just think that your partner deserves that much respect.

3. When the two of you meet, don't go for the big buildup. Just say what you want to say and get it out. Make sure you explain why you've reached the decision you have (explain, don't justify. It's your decision to make you don't have to justify it). Be compassionate but firm. Don't waver in the least. Let them talk if they want, but only for a short time. It won't do either of you any good to sit through a long, uncomfortable pleading session. If they have something to say, fine, let them have their say. But if it's just one long attempt to get you to change your mind you have to pull the plug.

4. After you've done the deed, leave. Don't call them and don't accept their calls if they call you. It may sound harsh but it's far worse for you to send mixed signals and talk to them if you really don't want them in your life. Best for both of you to just move on.

A relationship break up is never a fun thing to go through, but if you have to do it, do it as compassionately, and quickly as possible. It's best for both of you.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Monday 9 August 2010

Relationship Breakups Stink - No Ifs Or Buts

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Finding the best ways of handling relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.

There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.

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1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be hurting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life. Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.

2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think they were fun before this pain started). Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can. It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.

One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.

Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Sunday 8 August 2010

Ending A Relationship Is A Challange

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Ending a relationship is a challenge. It's so easy to second guess yourself and wonder if you're making a horrible mistake. Then comes the guilt you'll feel by causing someone you used to love, and maybe still do, all that pain. Where should you have 'the talk'? When? What will you say? What should you make sure not to say? It's never easy to break up, but with some forethought you can lessen the pain and awkwardness a little bit.

Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It's very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you're sure this is the best thing to do...before you do it. Don't go off in a huff because the two of you just had a fight. You don't want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you've jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

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Of course, if you're being abused, don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground. Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Make sure you're really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don't expect that you'll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It's easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you? Really? You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you're still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that's no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex. Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don't be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You've waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don't lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you're already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don't back down. You've given this a lot of thought and you're sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you' ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you've done it and the two of you are through, don't give into temptation and call them, and don't take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you're the one who ended the relationship it's up to you to be the 'strong' one and cut off all contact. You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, but don't. Make a clean break.

You can't take away all the pain and make things better for your ex when it comes to ending a relationship, but you can handle the situation with thought and compassion to make things as easy as possible. And you should, because karma can be a witch.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Saturday 7 August 2010

Relationship Breakup - Dont Be Blindsided

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Relationship breakup, what are the signs? Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to crash and burn? Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for? No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.

The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable. It's best to see things clearly, if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.

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Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:

1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, don't be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and they're a lot busier at work. If they don't have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.

Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively. Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.

2. Does your 'better half' suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they don't want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, what's going on. If they say 'nothing' that might well be your answer since it's obvious that their behavior has changed and if they don't have a good reason why it could be that there isn't a good reason. Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. You'd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.

3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just don't seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else. Of course, it could also be a sign that they're tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. Don't jump to conclusions, just ask.

Many times the signs of a relationship breakup are pretty easy to spot, as long as you're not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early you've got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Emotional Infidelity - Is It Trouble In The Making

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We don't live in a bubble. We spend time out in the world with other people and sometimes we make a connection with those other people. This is great, and a wonderful part of life. But it can become emotional infidelity when you are being more intimate with this new person than you are with your partner, even if it isn't sexual. It may be hard to draw the line sometimes but if you find that you are thinking of another person a lot, and not just in a casual way, it may be that you need to assess your own relationship.

It's very common that this type of emotional affair will eventually lead to a sexual relationship. That's one of the main reasons it needs to be nipped in the bud right away. There is no reason to beat yourself up about it just because you happened to meet someone and found that the two of you had an amazing attraction. What you do need to do, however, is to recognize that any type of infidelity is wrong and you need to put a stop to it before it goes any further.

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The longer you allow yourself to spend time with this other person, the stronger the attraction will become and the harder it will be to resist temptation, or break things off. If you are sharing things with this new person about your relationship with your spouse, you've crossed a line. It's one thing to confide some things to your friends, but not someone you are attracted to. Doing so will only create bigger problems for you and create an 'unnatural' bond with the new person.

Your spouse is the person you should be sharing these issues with, not someone who you are having feelings for. That is a breach of the trust you and your partner share. By letting this other person in, more and more every time the two of you talk, you are distancing yourself from your partner. If you do that for too long, your main relationship will completely fall apart. And even though you may think that's what you want so you can have the new person, it rarely works out quite so neatly.

It's unbelievably easy to make more out of the time you spend with your new friend. After all, the two of you don't bicker, you don't have any issues with money or how to deal with the kids, etc. The day to day things that can drag us all down aren't shared by the two of you so of course things may seem wonderful. Just remember, they felt that way at first with your spouse too. It's inevitable. But don't confuse that with having found your soul mate. Your soul mate is more than likely the person waiting for you at home.

Emotional infidelity is very often the first step to a full fledged affair. It's very easy to have a connection with someone else, but when that connection seems to take on a life of it's own, you need to pull back before things get so far out of hand that you can't salvage the situation.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Thursday 5 August 2010

Questions Relationship - Perhaps You Should

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If you have someone close to you who questions relationship that you are in, do yourself a favor and listen. More often than not your mother, or sister, or best friend will see signs that you know are there, even though you deny it. No one should subject themselves to a bad relationship, life is just too short.

I guess when it comes right down to it my first bit of advice would be to stay out of bad relationships in the first place. I know many people reading this would say, 'well I didn't know until I was in love". That may be true, I don't know you or your situation, But I can say that in the case of one of my friends and my sister, who are both in awful relationships that would be a lie.

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The truth is that almost always the signs are there very early on. We just choose to ignore them, and usually for the wrong reasons. We usually ignore them because we don't want to be alone or the person looks really hot, etc. For dumb reasons. And before we know it we're in over our heads and feel trapped and unsure of what to do.

The good news is that there are things you can do. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Of course, for the purpose of this article, when I talk about a bad relationship I don't mean an abusive one. I just mean that the two of you aren't compatible and don't get along. If there is abuse going on find help, go to a shelter, go to visit out of town friends, whatever you have to do to get away and be safe.

If, it's not that dire, try to determine (be honest) if the two of you can work on things and make them better. Sometimes the troubles in a relationship are minor and we can easily fix them as long as both parties are willing to try. If you truly think your partner might be willing to give it a try, than by all means give it a try.

2. Sometimes when one partner starts questioning the relationship, and suggesting that the two of you make changes, the other partner will start to get scared and suggest that the two of you take it to the next level. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but it happens. If you start noticing the flaws in your partner or the relationship your partner may start to feel unsure of them self and in order to keep you they might try to lock you in tighter by suggesting that you get married or move in together.

Don't be fooled. If your partner does this it means they are trying to avoid the real issue and they're trying to manipulate you and play on your emotions. Truthfully, if that happens, it should make you question the relationship even more, not less.

So, if someone you know and trust questions relationship your in, than you should take heed and listen. They are only looking out for you and they are more often than not, right to be concerned.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Affair Relationships - Can They Really Last

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Affair relationships, can they really last? If your relationship has started off as an affair and the two of you are wondering if you should leave your spouses and try to make a go of your relationship, you have to carefully consider the consequences of such an action.

It's very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing you're both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that you've both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won't each cheat on each other? Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.

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For one thing, are there kids involved? This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzzies for the person who broke their other parent's heart (at least that's the way the kids will see it. More than likely they'll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).

Even if there aren't kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.

One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didn't share any responsibilities. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it's way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new 'soulmate' may not seem so brand new in five or ten years... just like your spouse.

Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just don't feel love for your spouse (and I'm not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.

If it comes to that, it's best for everyone involved if you don't let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.

Affair relationships almost never work, but if the two of you have decided that even though you met in the wrong way, you still have a deep love for each other and that your marriages have been over for a long time, you might as well give it a go. Just keep the fact that you've been together while you were still married to other people, between the two of you. No need to cause unnecessary pain.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Tuesday 3 August 2010

Marriage Infidelity - Gut Check Time

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Let's face facts, not all marriages should be saved. Sometimes the two partner's just aren't compatible and just can't make thinks work. At other times there are real issues such as marriage infidelity, which can be virtually impossible to move past.

If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.

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Here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.

If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.

2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse.

Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.

3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.

On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Also, the person who strayed has to own it, period. Now is not the time to blame your spouse and use the classic line: "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me". B.S. You are every bit as guilty, maybe more so, in the failing of your marriage as your spouse. Don't blame your weakness and the fact that you cheated on your partner. You did it, period. Own it and you'll be a better person for it.

Marriage infidelity can be gotten past, but only if the two of you are willing to try, and try hard. Good luck.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

Monday 2 August 2010

Relationship Break Up Advice - Dont Let It Whip You

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It seems like every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article about relationship break up advice. The truth is that finding out the best way to deal with a breakup is information virtually every one will need at some point. Whether you want to try to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it will take time (and having some friends around won't hurt either).

The length of the relationship will often determine how long it will take you to move on. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship and the more memories and baggage you have the longer it will take for you to stop grieving and feel like you want to meet someone new. Even if they cheated on you or did something really bad, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.

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Even though we may wish we could at times, we can't just flip a switch and turn off all the love and companionship we'd been feeling for such a long time. We will need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally we can stand on our own and we'll have moved on. The first step to this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don't call them or accept their call if they call you. You need space and time.

Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic. For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it's all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done. Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.

If you've been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive, that will keep you at least a little distracted. Another thing is that you will be changing the look of your environment which will make it a little easier to forget and move on.

No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing the crossword puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget. The best relationship break up advice I can give you is to keep moving forward in life, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, it does get better.