For years I told my kids to choose wisely when it comes to relationships. I pointed out that it takes two people to make a relationship work, but only one to ruin it. If they find themselves in a relationships with someone who isn't grown up enough to work on the issues than they might find themselves in need of relationship rescue.
While it's never too late to make a relationship work, the longer you wait the more work you will have. Try to stop problems in their tracks before they become ingrained patterns of behavior - which will be much harder to deal with down the road.
So, you may be wondering, how can I save my relationship now that things have gotten out of hand? The first, and maybe the hardest, thing you have to do is to honestly assess the relationship. Are you truly convinced that your partner cares as much about the relationship as you do? If not, than it may well be time to call it quits and move on.
It is pretty close to impossible to fix the troubles in a relationship if you are the only one trying. As painful as it might be in the short term, you will most likely find that in the long run you are much happier and you may even wonder why you hung on so long.
If you believe that both of you are committed to making things work than the next order of business is to figure out what you've been doing wrong and change it. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible if the two of you work together.
Change, even change for the better, is a tough thing for most people. Obviously the way you and your partner have been doing things in your relationship isn't working. If you want things to be better you have to be willing to do things differently, and that can be difficult and scary.
You must be patient with yourself and your partner. You are both undergoing a lot of changes and it isn't always going to be smooth sailing. If one or the other of you 'messes up' be compassionate and don't beat yourselves up about it.
I realize that in our society we want, and expect, quick and easy solutions to our problems, but it won't be quick and it probably won't be easy. Be willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to get the results you need and want. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive your partner for their mistakes. If you both do that, you will already be further ahead of most couples.
Finding relationship rescue for your tattered relationship is as close as your partner. Just talking and deciding if you are both of the same page when it comes to your relationship (and if you are both willing to do what it takes to make it work) is sometimes all you really need to do.
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