Nobody ever said relationships were easy. And if they did, they were lying. A quick look at the shelves of any bookstore or library will tell you that people are looking for help in the relationship department. Seeking help in the form of a guide or book is a good idea, and a crucial step for many couples. However, evaluating your relationship with your partner before getting one is a good idea, too.
Why take the time to do this when a book has all the answers? Well, most books do not include a section on evaluation, and how can you know which steps to follow or how to follow them if you don't know where your relationship is at the moment? The answer is, you can't.
Because we as human beings are social creatures, it's only natural that we want to get along with those we are close to, and to remain with them whenever possible. Developing a sense of where you stand as a couple fits right in with our most basic desires.
When it comes to evaluating your relationship with your partner you can do it two different ways. The first way is to do it on your own, without any input from your significant other. The second way is to do it together as a couple. Both methods have their own pros and cons. Neither one is better than the other, because what counts is the ultimate goal of knowing what's going on.
Whichever method you choose, it doesn't have to be complicated. Simple yes or no questions are okay, but they don't really reveal all that much. The secret is to ask good, open-ended questions that will lead to more in-depth answers. Here are a few examples.
What do you want from the relationship?
What do you offer in the relationship?
What are your expectations of your partner?
What can you do to improve the relationship?
Where do you see the relationship going?
You'll notice that you can ask the above questions, and questions like them, whether doing the evaluation on your own, or with your partner.
The questions and answers are only the first part of the process. They are designed to get you thinking and talking. However, it is absolutely critical that you answer them honestly. This is easier said then done, especially when you have a certain outcome in mind. In other words, your answers when evaluating your relationship with your partner will be much different if you are assuming a break up is imminent than if you assume you'll be staying together.
It's important to keep an open mind while going through this process. By doing so, you will get to the heart of the matter and make a better decision based on what you discover. The answer at which you arrive may not be what you expect, and it's also not the final word. But it will help you to see things as they really are, and what steps you can take to have the best outcome possible.
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