Saturday 31 July 2010

Can My Husband Love Me Again - It Depends

Get back with your ex

Asking the question: can my husband love me again, can mean that you've just about reached the end of your rope when it comes to your marriage. It's tough to have to live with a bad relationship, but if you approach things in a healthy way, you may just be able to help restore the love and affection the two of you once had.

One thing to keep in mind is that even though you are the one asking the question your husband probably feels the distance between the two of you as well and hopefully will be just as willing as you are to make some changes. If he's not willing you are in for a virtually impossible battle.

I am in a great marriage now, but the first time around... not so much. My ex husband was very demanding and not very giving. He was what I call an 'emotional cripple'. He was too insecure to be my friend and consider us to be equals (actually we weren't equals, I was much better than he was in virtually all facets of my personality, I just didn't realize it at the time so it was like open season. I know that sounds vain, but it's true). He would demean me in front of his family and our kids. Thankfully, he finally left with some bimbo he met at a bowling alley.

Click to get your ex back


So, if your husband is an emotional cripple too, I would recommend you try counseling, though it won't work if he isn't willing to try, but it's a place to start.

Another thing you need to be careful of is the tendency to over compensate when things start to fall apart. It's a common thing for women to be the healers and that can include a relationship that needs healing. Women will often try too hard and just come off as needy and pathetic. This can create a vicious cycle where your husband pulls away, you cling to him and he pulls away even more. You get the idea. Don't try to over compensate when problems show up. Just try to calmly talk to him to figure out what's going on.

The other tact that many women take when things start to cool down in their marriage is that they try to protect themselves from the 'inevitable' hurt that they think is coming and they pull away too. This can really create problems. The best thing for both of you to do is talk, honestly and openly. Discuss what is going on, what each of you is feeling and why you are pulling back.

It may be hard to see with all the silly macho posturing a lot of men do, but they really aren't that different from us, they just want to be loved and appreciated. If your husband has started to pull back it could be that he just doesn't feel the warm fuzzies coming from you that he used to. Maybe it's just that you've been overwhelmed at work or with the kids, but if the two of you can't discuss this issue it can escalate.

The answer to the question: can my husband love me again is yes, he can. Actually, he probably still does but you are both mired in your own issues and just can't see it. It's time for the two of you to talk, maybe with a therapist. Once you do, you'll probably find that you're not that far apart after all.

6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you

How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce

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