Monday 8 November 2010

How Do I Save My Relationship - Very Carefully

Get back with your ex

How do I save my relationship? That is probably one of the most common questions you can find if you do a search for relationship advice online. It's a sad situation to be in. No one wants to stand idly by and watch their relationship crash and burn. You don't have to. There are many things you can do to not only save your relationship but to even improve it and maybe make it better than it ever was before.

One thing I always tell people is a good relationship starts with you. It may seem odd but most people look to their partner when they are trying to find or fix a relationship. If you start with you, you'll have a much better chance of having the kind of relationship we all dream of.

Click to get your ex back


You see that nothing dooms a relationship, or dooms you to choosing the wrong person, more than being insecure. True, we all have insecurities but some of us have more, or deeper ones, than others.

If you want to find someone who is confidant and willing and able to treat their partner with love, respect and friendship than you have to be someone who is confidant and can treat your partner with love respect and friendship.

If you are insecure you will only attract insecure people to you. In this scenario it usually goes a little like this: you have a woman who doesn't feel really good about herself. Maybe she's a little overweight or maybe she's beautiful but has just had too many people undermine her sense of self so she doesn't believe it.

What kind of man do you think she will attract? A confidant successful man or an insecure buffoon who always acts like he has something to prove? You guessed it, the buffoon.

That's because a confidant man would get bored with her neediness and insecurities. Those aren't attractive traits. An insecure man, on the other hand, would love to have a beautiful woman on his arm that he can boss around. It makes him feel like a big man, he can brag to his friends, etc.

So if you want to have someone worthwhile in your life, you have to become someone confidant enough to 'demand' that. It might even take some counseling but it's worth investing the time in yourself.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. My first marriage was to an insecure man like I described above. I was unsure of myself and he took every opportunity he could find to reinforce my insecurities.

After that disaster ended I took some time for me. I became the woman I always wanted to be. And of course, I still have some insecurities, but they're minor and they don't rule who I am. Now I'm in a fantastic relationship and I can honestly say that my spouse truly is my best friend and always has my back.

So if you're asking: "how do I save my relationship?" you may just find that you have to save yourself first.

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