Oh, please, like I'm going to be able to give you information on understanding men in this short article! Women have been trying to figure them out since the dawn of time, and we still can't quite get a handle on it. I guess there are a few things that I've kind of figured out over the years that might just help you out a little bit.
I'm not someone with a fancy degree or a lot of initials behind my name. But I am someone who pays attention and has come to a few conclusions about men. Some of my insights might help clarify these strange beasts. Some of my insights aren't all that complimentary about these strange beasts, no offense is intended.
I was married for 16 years to a 'man'. I put the word man in quotes because my ex acted a lot more like a spoiled and scared little boy than what I always thought a man should act like and not because he was a cross dresser, though that might have made him more interesting!
Anyway, my ex was abusive. No, not in the extreme way most people think of when they hear the word abusive, his abuse was a little more subtle than a slap in the face... but just barely. He loved to ridicule me and cut me down in front of his family. I thought it was more than a little pathetic how he curried favor with his mommy by treating his wife like crap.
After the marriage was over and I had some time to think about things it occurred to me that it wasn't really about me at all. He was lashing out at me for some insecurities he had (probably related to his mommy, but that's a whole other article). So once I realized that he was just fundamentally flawed, and I should never have married him in the first place, things began to make more sense.
It wasn't that there was anything wrong with me (except the aforementioned shouldn't have married him part) it's just that he was so riddled with insecurities and doubt that he had to try to make me feel as bad about myself as he did about himself... and it worked. I felt like the biggest failure as a wife and mother for a long time.
I went to a counselor after my marriage to try and make sense of it all and that's the conclusion I came to. The fact that he has since remarried (I kid you not, an ex stripper) just reinforces the conclusions I came to. He finally found a woman who had less confidence than he did, a match made in heaven!
The bottom line is this ladies: pick the right guy. That may sound simple, but it's true. I think most of us can look back on a bad relationship and, if we're honest with ourselves, realize that there were warning signs from the start. Signs that we chose to ignore. If you don't ignore the warnings you won't need any more help understanding men, most of it will just fall into place!
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