What constitutes bad relationships? Well, to a large degree, only you can answer that. The sad thing is that many people will lie to them self and pretend that they are actually in a good, solid, loving relationship when they know, and all their friends and family know, that they are in an unstable, toxic relationship.
And, a toxic relationship doesn't just happen in romantic relationships either. An unhealthy relationship can happen in any and all types of human interaction. It can be a friendship, a work relationship or a family relationship, it can and does happen.
A lot of times when people think of bad relationships they think big. They think of some sort of physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse. And, of course, any type of abuse would definitely be bad and a relationship that should not continue, but there are other, less obvious signs of a toxic relationship.
For one thing, there are some types of abuse that kind of fly "under the radar". They may not even be recognized as abuse. Here is what I mean: have you ever associated with someone who seemed to take great delight in ridiculing you and making you feel foolish? of course, they were only "joking" and you really should not be so "sensitive". When someone does that to you, it really is them not you. No one should make you feel bad about yourself on purpose. That is abuse.
In some ways the over the top abuse, such as physical, is not better (please don't take this the wrong way. Abuse is bad, period, I'm just trying to illustrate a point here) but it is certainly easier to recognize. Sometimes the more "subtle" types of abuse can sneak up on you. You may not even really notice them until you are deeply involved with someone and it is harder to break things off.
As a matter of fact, that is a very common method for many abusers. They come on strong, compliment you and make you feel loved and secure and then they will slowly start showing their true colors. They will suddenly stop complimenting and start ridiculing. That can really take someone off guard if they have become used to hearing loving words. All of a sudden they are hearing mean and spiteful things coming out of their partners mouth and it can lead them to try and figure out "what they did wrong".
At that point, the abuser has you right where they want you: off balance and willing to do pretty much anything they say in order to "bring their love back". This is the point where you must get out of the relationship as quickly as possible before you get in deeper. At this point you see your partner for what they really are, it won't change and it will never go back to the way it was before. That was not real, this is real.
They were only putting on a good front to suck you in, they really don't love you and never will. They will never really be able to give you the love, respect and affection that they were showing you (they were faking) in the beginning or that you really deserve. Get out before it gets worse.
Another common ploy is to try to distance you from family and friends. Once they have you off balance and alone the abuse can start in full force. That is a very dangerous time for any abuse victim and definitely the definition of bad relationships.
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