Admit it, you did something stupid and now she says she wants a divorce. She is tired of all the crap and doesn't want to deal with it, or you, anymore. You don't want one and are now scrambling for ways on how to stop my divorce. You are desperately looking for something to say or do that will change her mind.
Let me tell you something, everything you are considering trying will only continue to push her away. Don't send flowers, ok, they are nice but she will only see them as some sort of manipulation. In reality, that is exactly what they are, a manipulation. You cannot manipulate yourself back onto her good side. It will never work, she will see right through it.
So, where do you start how to stop my divorce?
First, stop fighting and arguing. You are never going to get her to change her mind this way and she will just dig her feet in and the resentment will keep building. You can't talk someone in to feeling a certain way when they already feel another. She is justified in the way she feels and doesn't want to change. Talk is cheap and she knows it.
She also does not want to keep hearing "I love you" all the time. Whether it is true or not she is convinced that she no longer loves you and has shut all her feelings off except the ones that will see her through a divorce. She thinks it is over between you and is preparing herself to start changing the way she looks and acts in life so she can survive. This may seem a little selfish but this really is a natural step to take to have a smooth transition between married life and single life.
Oh, and do not ever try to reassure her that you have or will be "changing" your behavior. Again, she will not believe you and really is an attempt on your part to continue trying to control the situation. You can't and depending on what you did to prompt her into asking for a divorce then she may think you have lost the right to control anything anymore.
If you want her to do a one-eighty then you need to be as agreeable, and as sincere, as you can possibly be. Let her be right from here on out. That's all she probably wanted from you in the first place, to just be right some of the time. When one of you controls the other by shooting down every idea, or comment, or suggestion and always has a "better" way of doing things it gets real old, real fast. If you want to win her back start making her feel like her opinion is the one that means the most.
You doing a one-eighty and learning these different tactics is the only way you will be allowed back in her life. She did not marry you originally to be under your thumb all the time and be controlled like she doesn't have a brain in her head. She married you because she loved you and wanted to be your equal partner in the marriage. So if you stop fighting, arguing, telling her you love her and showering her with gifts, or reassuring her that you can change and stay positive and let her be right and agree with everything she says from here on out then you will have learned a valuable lesson in how to stop my divorce.
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1 comment:
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