If you have been through it, divorce can feel as final as someone close to you dying even if you were the one who initiated it. If you were not the one to initiated it and it was all of a sudden handed to you on your doorstep, there are ways to stop unwanted divorce. You will have to muster up all the patience along with some determination you have ever mustered up before in your life because this will probably take some time.
First, do some soul searching and try to figure out what your specific role is in the failing relationship. This will be one of the most difficult things for you to do especially if you were blindsided by receiving the divorce papers. It has to be done so take this first step to stop unwanted divorce before there are anymore arguments and the blame game gets rolling. The more you figure out about yourself and your strengths and weaknesses then the easier time you will have trying to fight this.
Next, go talk to a professional. That's what they are there for. There will be no judgments or stigmas for trying to help yourself so make this a priority. It doesn't even necessarily have to be a marriage counselor either, right away. It can be your pastor or even a grief counselor. Stay away from family or friends who might have their own opinions and try to project them on to you. This may not be what you need to be hearing right now. You need to concentrate on resolving your current problems not something interjected by family or friends.
Remain upbeat and hopeful. Do not give up, even if things look bleak. Even in the worst of marriages there always still is hope that things can turn around and this is where that patience we talked about comes into play. Be patient and understanding any time you talk to your spouse. Agree with them when they start to tell you what they are feeling. This is the best thing you can do to get to the real reason they want out of the relationship.
Agreeing with them will show them you may still have some merit and that maybe they are making a mistake by divorcing you. Showing them this side of you may be very new to them and they may even ask you where it came from. You can always say that it was always there and this was just the thing that pulled it out of you. You might just make them fall in love with you all over again.
Keeping them confused and continuing to show your love and devotion to them may just make them change their minds and want to make the relationship work. And wouldn't it be so cool if you could say from now on that it was you who saved your marriage from divorce. Stop an unwanted divorce by following these suggestions and remaining calm, cool, and collected.
6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you
How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce
No comments:
Post a Comment