Everyone thinks that the love they share with their partner is unique, and in many ways it is. But when it comes to the different ways couples sabotage their love, there are some common themes that seem to affect virtually every relationship. Here are the top 5 relationships 'don'ts'. By taking heed and following this list you will give yourself and your partner a really good chance of keeping things strong and loving for many years to come.
1. Learn to communicate. This sounds easy but in many cases it's not. One of the most important things to remember is that when your partner talks you need to hear what they are saying, not what you think they are saying. For example, if you are a little overweight and insecure about your weight, it's quite likely that you'll turn every comment you hear about overweight people back on yourself.
So if your partner makes a comment about a fat person at the beach it's very likely that you'll get a little defensive because you'll think they are secretly talking about you. When you take this same scenario and apply it to many other aspects of your relationship you can see that neither of you is actually hearing or understanding what the other person is trying to say. You are only hearing things from your own perspective, not your partner's.
In order to effectively communicate you and your partner will have to learn to express what you really feel and to hear what the other person is truly saying without reading between the lines. If you're not really sure what their meaning is... ask them.
2. Giving more than you take. While no one wants to be a door mat, if both of you actually gave more than you take the relationship would be very equal. If just one of you is giving more and taking less than the relationship can be a disaster, and that is the dynamic of many relationships, one partner takes more than they give.
3. Don't be afraid to show your partner how much you love them and are attracted to them. And one word of caution to a lot of you guys out there: affection does not necessarily mean sex. A woman wants to be desired by her partner but she doesn't want to feel like that's all you want her for. Make sure that at least half of the affection you show her comes in non sexual ways. A simple kiss on the check or coming up from behind and giving her a hug, those things can make anyone feel loved and like a million bucks.
4. Keep your relationship grounded in good habits, not bad. If the thing that the two of you enjoy doing together isn't a positive activity your relationship can never be a healthy one, you are just enabling one another. So if your partner is your drug or drinking buddy, or the two of you get off on shoplifting,etc, you need to get help as fast as you can. Not only are these activities not the basis for a long term relationship, they are also extremely self destructive and could end up ruining your life.
5. And last, but definitely not least, are you and your partner best friends? I've had many friends over the years who would say that their spouse was their best friend yet they'd turn right around in the same conversation and say that they couldn't tell them about this or that. If your partner is your best friend, you should be able to talk to them about anything... period. If the two of you don't share that level of intimacy (no matter how much sex you may have) you aren't truly intimate and your relationship can use some help.
I'm not a therapist ( and I don't play one on t.v.) but if you follow these 5 relationships tips, you and your partner can have a lot better relationship that will stand the test of time.
6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you
How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce
No comments:
Post a Comment