There have been so many things written about lost love, yet none of them really resonate with us...until we have lost a love of our own. Then, all of a sudden, all of the books, poems, movies and songs make so much more sense; they really speak to us. If you have recently gone through a divorce or a break up, then there is hope.
While it's not enough to make you feel 100% better, you can take at least a small measure of comfort from knowing that you are not alone. Countless people have had to deal with the same thing. Granted, no two situations are exactly the same, just as no two people are the same. However, there has been enough shared heartache over the centuries that some really good advice has been handed down.
Of course you feel awful, and that's perfectly normal. Guilt, anger, shame, confusion, doubt, sadness, depression, relief, and any number of other emotions all mix together. You're not really sure what to make of it. Sometimes you do quite well, and other times it's so painful that it seems as though you will never be the same again. Take heart! Just because you have lost love doesn't mean you have lost your mind...at least not permanently.
Take some time to get away from everything. Now, that doesn't mean you should crawl into a corner and wallow in self-pity. But you should try to clear your mind of the break for a while. If you have any vacation time from work, then now may be a good time to take it. A small vacation where you aren't surrounded by constant reminders of your past relationship is a good way to get the fresh perspective you need.
When you come back you can start to look at the relationship again. The key is not get too worked up about it. If you find that you get over-emotional when thinking about it, then take a break, and return to it when you are ready again. You must work through this.
The reason working through it is so important is that it's the only way to get past it. It may seem impossible, but it can be done. You must confront those feelings, and the events that caused your lost love. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Each time you do it, you will find your feelings improving little by little.
The truth is that it doesn't work for everybody, so what if this isn't enough to make you feel better? Then it's time to get help from someone else. This can be a friend, member of the clergy or a counselor. Whom you choose isn't as important as the fact that you're getting some help. There is no reason why you need to feel miserable forever after a break up. And whether you ever try to work things out or not, getting back to some sense of normalcy will only make you better in the long run.
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