Being together with someone you care about isn't always easy. You may have started off on the right foot, and may have thought that you would be that happy for the rest of your life...but then reality paid you a visit and now things aren't looking quite as good. What may surprise you is that over half of all couples have received relationship counseling of some kind while they were together. Here are some things for you to consider when it comes to seeing a counselor.
A counselor is not a miracle worker. They can't just wave a magic wand and make your relationship perfect. What they can do is listen to each of you (separately and together), and offer suggestions based on what you have told them.
The purpose of visiting a counselor is not to win some imaginary contest, nor is it to prove you are right and that your partner is wrong. If that's your attitude, then you can be sure that changing that attitude is one of the first things the counselor is going to try to do. In some ways--depending how bad things are--the counselor's role is to tear down all of the nasty walls you have put up, and then rebuild on a more harmonious foundation.
One thing you should watch out for is more arguing. What? Yes, that's right, a lot of couples find that they argue more after their first few sessions of relationship counseling. That's because they are learning new ways to communicate, and this change can bring stress of its own. Don't worry, though, if you stick with the counseling you will get past this and start to get along better and better.
Just having somebody to listen to your side of things can be quite therapeutic. Maybe you feel like your partner doesn't get what you're trying to say, or maybe you feel like they ignore you completely. Either way, having an objective party lending an ear can be a great way to work through things.
But why use a counselor at all, can't you get a lot of the same information from self-help books? You sure can. Let me ask you this: have you tried any of those books, and if so, how are they working for you? If they're not working, that's okay, it's not your fault. See, the author can only pass along what they know, but they don't know you personally. Their advice may be wonderful...for somebody else, but it just doesn't work for you. A counselor can listen to your specific problems and then craft solutions that will work best for your specific situation.
There is a catch to all of this. Nothing will happen if you do nothing. While that may sound like common sense, far too many couples go to relationship counseling and never follow through on any of the qualified professional advice they are given. That's too bad because if they did, they could end up being happier than ever. The good news is that the choice to be happy is all yours.
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