For couples that find themselves in the predicament of contemplating divorce, the first thing that they need to do is stop everything. This is not the time to make hasty decisions. If you want to know how to save a marriage it comes down to patience.
Since marriage is such an important bonding of two people, it should be preserved and guarded with every fiber of their beings. But often when couples flash the divorce card they have not exhausted all of their options. It comes down to frustration and unhappiness and how those two emotions are currently running their lives. Focusing on the love that brought the two together is what the focus should now be.
Almost every problem that develops in a marriage can be resolved with the start of one simple word: communication. We have all heard this before, but when it boils down to it, there really is a lot of basis for this concept. Being able to talk things out makes them resolved on a much lower, and often, inconsequential level instead of letting them brood and become major issues.
For example, if a wife hates that her husband throws his clothes on the floor when he comes home, instead of picking them up and not wanting to start a tiff, she should say something then. But what normally occurs is that she puts it in the back of her mind, thinking that it is too insignificant to bring up. She justifies burying her resentment by thinking, “he has so much on his mind”, or “he works so hard”. After a few years of picking up clothes the animosity builds and comes out in a fight about a totally unrelated subject.
Once the avalanche of emotions start to flow, everything that she has been harboring comes out- even the “insignificant” things. Suddenly, a minor annoyance has become World War III. He becomes defensive and confused since it was never brought up; she resents and gives accusations on why he doesn’t care, and the fight goes on and on.
All of these scenarios can be avoided if issues are pinpointed as they occur. Thinking something is not worth bringing up only places it in the back of your mind to build on later. After all, discussing it now beats yelling about it later.
Lack of communication is always singled out as a major problem in marriage. And for good reason: it is the single most important topic that a couple can exercise as a way of how to save a marriage because it can be used to reward, or reprimand, almost any area of life that the two will encounter.
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