There is no question that marriage is filled with its fair share of ups and downs. If there are too many downs, then it can start to take its toll on your marriage. Even strong relationships can find it difficult to withstand too much negativity. Fortunately, there are some things you can start doing right away to help save your marriage.
You need to be completely honest as you work on improving your marriage. You have to be honest with your spouse, and you need to be honest with yourself. You also need to be honest about the fact that the healing process is going to take time, work and commitment. However, if you want things to get better, then it will be worth it.
If you have been arguing a lot, then it's a sign that your communication skills need some improvement. However, arguing in and of itself is a form of communication and that means there is still hope. The real trouble starts when you won't even attempt to talk to each other, as that's a sign you have given up.
The biggest part of effective communication is learning how to listen. Listening is an active process that takes practice. You need to focus on what your spouse is saying, and then make sure you understand it before responding. You need to give your undivided attention to the other person, and that means you shouldn't be thinking about what you'll say when it's your turn.
Honesty and communication are only part of how to help save your marriage, you also need to find out what the real problems are, and then be ready to confront them. This can be somewhat tricky as people have a tendency to confuse symptoms for the causes of the symptoms. For example, losing your temper is most likely a symptom for a deeper problem. You must dig until you get to the causes of the problems in your marriage.
Once you know the problems you can work on fixing them. You can't solve the problems by yourself, so you need to involve your spouse in finding solutions. Things should go pretty smoothly, as long as you are being honest and have honed your communication skills.
If, despite your best efforts, the two of you are not able to patch things up on your own, then going to see a counselor is a smart choice. Some people don't like the idea of seeing a counselor, but if you are truly serious about staying together, then they can help save your marriage.
Divorce is not a solution to your problems. Doing whatever you can to help save your marriage will only serve to make you happier in the long run. The vast majority of marriages can be saved, and yours is no exception, but it's up to you to make it happen.
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