If you are trying to get a troubled relationship back on track you need to cut out all the BS, learn to communicate and be more than willing to compromise for the benefit of the relationship. Do not let anything get in the way of fixing the relationship.
Do not take anything for granted. If things are bad enough then the two of you need to find a qualified therapist to go talk to. Do not give yourselves any outs. No more excuses. If you are going to fix this troubled relationship then you both need to go all out and devote yourselves to each other and the fix.
You will probably expend more energy on your relationship than you ever have before. You will finally see that to make a relationship work you need to expend some energy, you just can't let your relationship float on the wind, it will just get carried away by that wind.
You must take an active role in repairing your relationship. No more passivity. You already know that that does not work, right? So, do the exact opposite of what you were doing. If more people would do this then there would be a lot less failed marriages.
Make counseling a condition that cannot be broken. If you both agree that the relationship is fixable then counseling has to be mandatory. No excuses, no discussion. and no blowing it off to go have a beer with the guys. Have the beer later.
To find a good counselor you could ask someone you know who went through the same thing if they had a good one, If they did have a good experience then get the guys number and give him a call to set up an appointment. If you do not know anyone then look iin the yellow pages to find a counselor in your area.
You might even be able to find some type of support group that specializes in helping put relationships back together. Or maybe your counselor has some suggestions for you in that respect. A counselor that is worth his salt will undoubtedly give you exercises to do while you are out of the office to get the two of you communicating effectively and spending quality time together.
If you want to, it may be a good idea to research the counselor you choose before actually making the appointment. Be sure they are licensed and have experience in the type of counseling you need. Ask for references if you feel the need to. You need an expert to help you through this, do not settle for mediocre. Fixing your relationship is too important.
If the two of you have maturity on your side then the better the chances are of you rebuilding the troubled relationship. The stronger the relationship gets, the stronger the trust and mutual respect will get as well. Eventually the counselor will cut you loose to try things on your own. If, at any time, there is a break down in communication and things start to get out of hand again then immediately get yourselves back to the counselor.
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