So you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart. Can it work? Well that depends really on how much you both want it to and what caused the breakup in the first place. You are more likely to succeed if you have the backing of your friends and family.
Often we break up when we are young, as we are both immature and just don't know what we have; until we lose it. Other times we can kill off a relationship, because we relocate with our jobs or our families. Often the break up has nothing to do with the people involved just the timing or distance is wrong.
But sometimes there were specfic reasons why we broke up and if these reasons still exist, then you need to work out why you want to get back together. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but be aware that memories get distorted and you could be remembering events that didn't quite happen that way. Experts call this the "rose coloured glasses" effect.
However, if you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart, there must be a physical and emotional attraction between the two of you. Physical attraction is great and this is what generally brings couples together initially. But unless it is accompanied or followed over time by an emotional connection, the physical stuff just isn't enough to sustain a relationship.
Long term successful partnerships are based on mutual respect, love and commitment. If you miss out any of these three key ingredients your chances of spending your twilight years together diminish. I know that Hollywood films would have you believe that a great romance is based on lust and physical attraction. You can be easily fooled into thinking the man just has to sweep you off your feet and you will live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, real life isn't like that and you will have certain trials to face as a couple. A couple who are deeply committed to each other, on every level, is much more likely to survive the problems; real life throws at them.
Perhaps you two were together for a long time. Maybe you even had a family together before you split up. If this is the case, you need to be sure that you are getting back together for the right reasons and not because your kids want you to. Just as a couple should never stay with each other solely for the sake of their children, nor should they get romantically involved again for this reason.
Getting back together after a long time apart can be an exciting adventure. Just take things slowly and who knows, perhaps a marriage or remarriage may just be over the horizon.
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1 comment:
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