People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.
So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them. Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.
Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.
If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you? Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive.
I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what happened between a couple other than those two people.
If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair? Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.
You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads. Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.
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