Are you asking yourself the question: can I get my ex to love me again, I don't want to diminish the hurt and anguish you're going through, but I wish I had a penny for every time I've heard someone ask that question. You see, it's not an uncommon problem. Sometimes we are the ones who end a relationship and then later realize that it was a mistake to let them go. Other times, it's out of our hands and someone we love has let us go. Either way, you can make things work out and have your love back with you, no matter how impossible or hopeless it may seem now.
There is one thing you really need to consider, and that is that it's very, very likely that your ex does still love you. Love can be killed. If you treat someone bad enough, long enough the love they had for you will turn to disdain. But, in a lot of cases, that don't involve out and out abuse, but rather just a slow deterioration of the relationship where you both start to take each other for granted, the love is very likely still alive and well even though it's buried and you can't see it.
It's in these times that it's usually the easiest to fan those flames and reignite the passion and love the two of you once felt. If you lost your love because you were abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually) do both of you a favor and don't even consider rekindling things with your ex, or finding someone new, until you've spent some serious time with a counselor who can help you figure out why you have the need to hurt another person, especially someone who loves you.
If the problems aren't quite that serious and dire, the first thing you should do is to find out what your ex does feel for you. The best way to do that is to ask. Call your ex and invite them to coffee, dinner, lunch, a walk, etc. The point is try to find an enjoyable activity that the two of you can do together that will allow you to talk.
This 'date' doesn't have to be a big deal, as a matter of fact, you're probably going to want to keep things pretty casual at this point. Just have fun. Remind your ex of what a great, fun loving person you are. They probably haven't seen that side of you for quite some time. It's hard to be happy and carefree when your relationship is on the rocks. Remind them.
Pay attention to the way your ex responds to these glimpses of the 'old you'. Do they seem interested and engaged? If so, it's a pretty good bet that the love is still there. Do they seem indifferent and like they can't wait to get out of there? If that's the case it might just be too late and you may have to be ready to walk away.
If you and your ex have a great time, ask them if they'd like to get together again. Still keep things light and casual. Don't move too fast. Just keep reminding them, by actions and not words, of the person they fell in love with. This will basically allow the two of you to start all over and that is the answer to your question: can I get my ex to love me again?
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