If you really want to know how to save your marriage, you need to figure out what the heck being married is all about. Being married is not about remaining independent and doing things only for yourself. It is about sharing everything in your life with that one special person you chose to spend your life with.
Too often people get married and then immediately start to think they are in trouble or feel trapped and do not know how to handle these feelings. Then they start to feel guilty because they are having these feelings and mistakenly assume that when you get married you should automatically know how to be married.
If you think about it that is just the silliest thing you could do. Question: Did you know how to ride that bike before someone taught you? How about walking and talking? You had to learn that too right? So, what makes you think that you know how to be married? Who taught you how?
Oh sure, your parents can be a role model for you but if their relationship wasn't good and they didn't know how to be married, what have they taught you? Not much of anything except how to do it all wrong.
If this is the case then learning how to save your marriage is of utmost importance. Where do you start? Start by talking to each other. Remember when you first met? You used to talk about anything and everything. What happened? What changed? The only thing that changed is the fact that the two of you got married.
Why should this be a problem? You love each other right? Well, of course you do. That is never the problem. The problem is the high standards you or your partner has that neither one of you can live up to. Marriage is all about making compromises and learning to become a partnership.
The best way to become a partnership is to talk things out all the time. Do not make the mistake of assuming you know what your partner is thinking or how they will react in any given situation. Ask them. Never take them or how they feel for granted. This will only cause more problems.
If you have just recently been married and you have encountered these problems already or you have been married for several years and are old hats at these problems, you can still help yourselves and make things right. Make a commitment to each other that you both will try harder to communicate better.
I know sometimes I forget that my partner is a human being and has thoughts and feelings and perceptions of their own and that I am not the only person in the relationship. I also know that we do communicate effectively most of the time but when one of us decides we know best that makes it difficult to make decisions together especially if the one who thinks they know the best will not listen to reason.
If you love each other but do not like each other much these days, you need to start nurturing your relationship and treating each other with respect. You need to get back to the point where your relationship comes first and the two of you feel connected. Clearing up any misunderstandings and hurt feelings is good advice on how to save your marriage.
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