James is now in the position of being a dumped boyfriend but it is his own fault that he has just been dumped. You see James went out to a party one night with some friends but his girlfriend Sally was busy that night and couldn’t go. James made the big mistake of drinking too much and then making out with some girl he didn’t even know. Of course it didn’t take long for the news to get back to Sally.
When Sally found out that James had been unfaithful, she called him up and among the crying, yelling and name calling, she told him she never wanted to see him again.
James felt terrible and knew that what he did was wrong and wished he could go back in time and not let it happen. On the other hand, he didn’t think that his one mistake was enough to end the relationship over.
James decided the relationship was worth saving and started taking steps to win Sally back. But silly James really didn’t know the best way to win back a broken heart and did it all wrong!
The first thing James did wrong was when Sally called him, instead of apologizing for his mistake he just grovelled and begged Sally to take him back. This is the wrong time for begging as Sally is very angry and in no mood for grovelling and begging.
Then James proceeded to aggressively pursue her and not give her time to deal with what happened. James sent Sally over 100 texts during the next week and called her three or four times a day and often during the night.
After a week of relentlessly bugging Sally, James got really desperate and went to her house and sang love songs outside her bedroom window. It wasn't long before the neighbours called the police.
James realized that none of his tactics were working so decided to try something different. He decided to try the jealousy tactic and proceeded to ask out one of Sally's friends.
Sally's friend agreed to go out on a date with James and the news soon got back to Sally, just as James hoped it would. James thought that when Sally heard he was dating her friend, that she would be jealous and beg him to come back to her. But Sally wasn't jealous; it had the opposite effect and made Sally furious. Sally knew that James was dating her friend to get back at her and she was also angry at her friend for dating her ex boyfriend.
So let's take a look at where James went wrong and could have done things differently.
Well the first obvious mistake was when James drank too much and made out with another girl. Silly mistake that shouldn't have been made in the first place – mistake number one! However, even with such a mistake a relationship can be saved if the right steps are taken.
James grovelled and begged Sally immediately and then proceeded to hound her with texts and phone calls. He didn’t give her time to breath, he didn't give her space and at that point in time she needed some space to take in what had happened and decide whether she wanted to salvage the relationship or not. James, the dumped boyfriend, didn't give her the space she needed – that was mistake number two!
James asked Sally's friend out on a date to make her jealous. Mistake number three! Sally isn't stupid and she knew what he was playing at and this just made her angry.
If James had really wanted to salvage this relationship he should have apologized to Sally for what he did and let her know that he still loves her and it was just one big mistake. Then he should have given her some space to think about what had happened and his apology so she could then decide whether she would accept his apology or not.
James should never have asked Sally's friend out on a date. Once he had given her some space, if he didn't hear back from her after a week or so he could have called her and asked her out to dinner so they could talk. If Sally had decided that she didn’t want him back then he would have to accept that, but if James had been more sincere and caring of her needs, then she may have considered reconciling with him.
Sally decided not to take James back after his mistake and the way he acted afterward. If James hadn't acted like such an oaf afterwards, Sally might have forgiven him for his mistake. James made the big dumped boyfriend mistake by not acting in the correct manner to fix his mistake. If you make a mistake, don't make things worse; think about what you are going to do before you start harassing you're ex girlfriend and driving her even further away.
6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you
How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce
No comments:
Post a Comment