You really cannot put a time table on grieving so it really is up to you and how you feel about starting a new marriage after death of spouse. You are the only one who can decide when to start seeing someone new and possibly starting a new relationship that may even lead to marriage.
There some important things you should take into consideration before you take the plunge with new marriage after death of spouse. You must sort out your feelings on the subject very carefully and decide if you are really ready to commit to someone new. Believe it or not there is the very real possibility that you could come to resent the new spouse for trying to take the place of the first one. They may not be but if your first marriage was good and your spouse died suddenly you will make comparisons. This is not fair to your second spouse.
You need to be able to let the first spouse go completely. Take a lot of time after the first spouse's death and learn to get over that relationship. Talk to a professional and learn who you are all by yourself. This will take some time to sort things out. Then you can start to think about re-entering the dating pool.
If your first spouse died while your children were still young then they will need to be taken into consideration, too, before you start dating. You will have to find someone who is willing to take on the responsibility of helping you raise your children.
Your children will also need to be willing to let someone new into their lives and be willing to allow someone new the privilege of helping raise them, too. The children should also be in grief counseling to deal with the death of their parent. If the children are grown up, though, then they really do not have a say in the matter. You can tell them about your plans but they should just mind their own business.
Other things that you should take into consideration are, where are you going to live? Should you sell the house you shared with your first spouse? Will you have to go to work to help pay the bills? Will your new spouse have to relocate for their job? Will the kids have to learn to make new friends at a new school if you do relocate?
Do not just make decisions and expect that your children will just go along with what you decide. They won't, they will fight you. You have to keep them in the loop and let them be a part of the decision making process. Let them feel like they are part of this new family, otherwise they will rebel and push everyone away.
One other thing to consider...new traditions will have to be made or meshed together so that everyone is happy in this new marriage after death of spouse.
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