You just found out that your spouse is cheating. What happens to your relationship after cheating is pretty much up to you at this point? Do you forgive and forget or do you kick him to the curb? Frankly, if it were me, I would kick him to the curb. You could never trust him again and, seriously, why would you ever want to try?
I don't like being played for a fool, he would be gone so fast he would not know what hit him. But then what? Where would you be then? All alone with no one to talk to? If you were really in love then the hurt would be completely devastating and it would take a lot of time to get over him. It would be difficult to enter into another relationship after cheating.
When you make the decision to kick him to the curb you automatically take control from him. You get you back and you get to start making the rules. No more passivity, no more depending on him for your happiness. Tell him that it is over and done then absolutely refuse to have any contact with him whatsoever. He is no longer worth your time. If he wants to talk to you he should do it through your lawyer.
Let the anger you feel be your guide, for now. Do not let it consume you because it will literally eat you up inside and you will not be good to anyone, especially yourself. So, use the anger effectively to get through the divorce and then learn to let it go. See someone to help if you need to but find a way to let it go.
One good way to vent your anger and other feelings is to start a daily journal. This is a way to track how you are dealing with the wrong that was done to you. You can vent all you like and say anything you want when you put it in a journal. Journal writing can be very cleansing, not to mention healing. It is there for you only to get your feelings out, no one can take that away from you.
You may feel some depression over the loss of the relationship and this is completely normal. If it doesn't feel like ti will ever get better then see your doctor or find a counselor to talk things out with. There are medications you can take short term to help with situational depression and so you can cope with the stress of daily life. Don't be afraid to take these medications they can and do help lots of people deal with depression. You can take them until you start to feel better then wean your doctor can help you wean off of them. Do not ever do it your self, always follow doctor's orders.
Eventually you will get to a good place both in your head and in your life where you can be happy and start looking for another relationship. This will take some time though so do not rush things. Stay connected to your feelings by continuing to write in your journal every night before you go to bed. Occasionally read back when you first started the journal and see how you have changed and progressed. You should see a natural progression of feelings and coping mechanisms that get you to where you can handle your relationship after cheating.
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