If you want to win back your ex and your ex agrees, there are certain things that you should do to make sure you will have a successful relationship the next time around.
Take your time when you are learning how to get back together, do not rush right back into the same old routine. It did not work the first time around and it surely will not work the second time around. The idea here is to make things better not repeat the same old mistakes.
Your best bet is to talk about everything that happened that led to the break up in the first place. Until you understand each other and how each one thinks, there will be no point in trying to get back together because your relationship will only end in disaster again. Do not play games or try to trick your ex into coming back to you. Doing this will only deepen the hurt and distrust.
Be friends before you two jump right back into being in a relationship. Date, hang out, have some fun, just learn to be together before things get serious again. Keeping things casual for the first few weeks will give you both time to readjust to the other person and let you ease back into a relationship.
Talking is not the only thing to be done in this type of situation, though. If you want to win back your ex and are serious about it, you both should be willing to put your money where your mouth is and show each other how serious you both are about getting back together.
Ask your former lover if they would be willing to go see a counselor with you to try to work things out. If they say no then you know you have your answer and the relationship should be over at this point. There really is nothing more to talk about. If they are not willing to work on the problems in your relationship, cut them loose.
If they say yes to the counselor then go ahead and make an appointment with someone you both trust. Agree that you both will be as open and honest about everything as you can. Seeing a counselor should be a healing thing for the two of you and not another source of stress and worry.
The counselor may want to see the two of you together or they may start out seeing each one separately and then bring you both together. Depends on the depth of the problems you have. A good counselor can help you work through everything and give you tools and homework to apply to your lives outside of the counselor's office to continue to become the couple you wanted to be in the first place.
The sooner you can get to the bottom of the problems you had in your first relationship, the better the second relationship will be. Having someone to love you is the most wonderful thing in the world and you will be thankful that you took the time to learn how to win back your ex.
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