Relationships can be fickle things, that is why we try so hard to keep them intact. Since we can not read peoples minds or understand their true feelings, we are left struggling to get along as best we can. That is simply the nature of being human.
But because of those limitations we have to pay extra attention to how we interact. When you get into a relationship with someone it requires time and dedication. You have to put in the effort to get to know them and understand them.
However, what happens when you are not as interested in that person as you originally thought? What if they simply do not fulfill all your needs? By that point you may already be in a long standing relationship with that person.
Although they may not meet all your expectations, you probably still love them and do not want to hurt them. This is where many affair relationships happen. You are left wanting more but you still want your partner, so you wander off the path and go find someone else in an attempt to satisfy your urges.
You probably do not mean to harm your partner, you just wanted something more. Unfortunately that does not matter. Whether you intended to or not, you did indeed cause your partner great harm. Because of your inability to control your urges they are left with the emotional pain that comes from betrayal.
The key here is control. You might not be entirely fulfilled and this is where you have to stop and let logic take over. Ask yourself if you truly love this person, if you do then you have to control your urges and not betray them.
If you find yourself not as in love as you once were, do not stay out of guilt. So many people make this mistake, they find out that they are not truly in love with the person but by then it is too late. Since they do not want to hurt their partner they try to have a secret affair relationships.
Believe me, in causes them far more pain to have an affair behind their back then if you had simply broken up with them. Honesty and respect are fundamental aspects of a relationship, by having an affair you walk all over those tenants.
So if you determine that you simply are not in love with your partner anymore, be honest about your feelings and tell them that the relationship is over. Do it as gently as possible but do not allow yourself to remain in the relationship out of fear of hurting them.
Once out of that relationship you are free to pursue other people, hopefully finding someone that gives you all the fulfillment you crave.
No matter what the reason for an affair, always remember that it is about the single most hurtful thing you can ever do in a relationship. If you love your partner, or even just respect them, then an affair might not be the best choice. Instead let them go and move on, it will be better for everyone involved.
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