Everyone wants to have healthy relationships. A good, loving strong relationship is something most of us would love to have. Whether it is a friendship, a romantic relationship or even a work place relationship, there are good relationships and there are not so good relationships.
If you want to know what makes up healthy relationships I can provide you with some guidelines but at the end of the day, you know what is good and what isn't. You may not always want to acknowledge that if you are in a relationship that you don't really want to leave but in your heart you know it is not healthy, but you still know.
Here are some things that are indicators of a good and strong relationship:
1. Does each person in the relationship take responsibility for their words and actions? If one of you acts badly or lashes out when things go wrong (which shouldn't happen very often) do you at least own up to your own inappropriate behavior and sincerely apologize or do you get petulant and even more angry?
2. Are each of you comfortable and capable of being on your own? It's one thing to love another person and to want to be with them, but it's quite another to feel like you can't do anything on your own or be on your own.
3. You are both able to talk freely and openly about your feelings, both good and bad feelings without having to worry about your partner getting angry and defensive. If you are not in a relationship where you can freely express how you feel without worry of some sort of retribution, even if it is just the silent treatment, than it isn't a totally healthy relationship.
4. You should both be comfortable with saying no to anything that you don't like or want to do. If you feel guilty about standing your ground or if your partner "punishes" you for standing your ground, that is not a sign of a good solid relationship.
5. There should never be any type of abuse. Abuse can come in many forms. If your partner gets a kick out of cutting you down and embarrassing you in front of others, that is abuse (even if they say they are "just kidding" or you are "too sensitive"). That is abuse and there is no excuse for it.
To put it in a nutshell, if you want to have strong, loving respectful relationships, you must be willing to "demand" it. I don't mean by screaming and yelling I mean by simply refusing to settle for anything less. If you are with someone who doesn't feel the same way, you leave. If you don't treat yourself badly you probably won't attract anyone who will treat you badly either and at least if you do, you will stand up and tell them "no".
So, go out and grab your own healthy relationships, or if you are already in a relationship, take stock and make sure it is a good relationship. Even if it needs work, you and your partner can work together to make things better, it's up to you.
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